A crank there once was of a flavor
That of nuts and of flakes both did savor
And from his belief
That Proto-Michif
Was Celtic he never did waver.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster
I know a conlanger who screams
That noone should mention morphemes.
“Don’t let some framework
Incite you to lame work!”
At transgressions of this he blasphemes.
—Pete Bleackley
The Neogrammarians’ work
Says that sound change has nary a quirk.
But I have my doubts
When th’ Armeniologist shouts
That PIE /*dw/ goes to /jɛrk/!
—Vaguely, in Words
With issues of SpecGram we’re blessed.
Such novelty, so well expressed!
It’s norm’ly satirical—
And even quite lyrical—
But monographs mid-month are best!
—Hēe Hü Wright Stu Lòŋ
In school some linguists, mocking more
Than learned, pledged to further nonsense
That often had been said before
In school. Some linguists, mocking more
Than learning, sought to root out cour-
Ses that offend the first group’s conscience
In school. Some linguists mocking, more
Than learned, pledged: To further nonsense!
—Pumptilian Perniquity
Seek you abstractions
And generalizations
But forget not Truth
—Lauren Ipsum
