Letters to the Editor SpecGram Vol CLXIX, No 3 Contents The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Book ६

There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In an adjective way,
Resulting in circumstance C.
—Anonymous, the Formal Semanticist

In Glaswegian stops oft are heard
And young ladies are often called “burd”
But across in the East
Far from Ayr and Dumfries
“Like” is the phrase-final word.
—Col. O. Nihilist

Polyglots have the cure to it all,
Hurry up and become multilingual!
It enhances your brain
You find jobs with no pain
And you’re envied because you are special.
—Cailín na Luimní

There once was a scurrilous gnome
Who both near and far took to roam.
Woe spread as he’d stroll,
Yet he said, “I’m no troll,
For under Cam Bridge I’ve no home.”
—Pumptilian Perniquity

Pronouncing an “ough” is quite tough,
Although less than eating ham hough.
Non-natives can cough,
And through it just plough,
And claim that they had to hiccough.

prənaʊnsɪŋ æn əf ɪz kwaɪt təf,
ɔlðəf lɛs ðæn itɪŋ hæm həf.
nɒn neɪtɪvz kæn kɔf,
ænd θrɔf ɪt dʒʌst plɔf,
ænd kleɪm ðæt ðeɪ hæd tu hɪkəf.
—Κόμμα Ο᾿Κῶλον

Letters to the Editor
The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective
SpecGram Vol CLXIX, No 3 Contents