Letters to the Editor SpecGram Vol CLXXVII, No 2 Contents Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.
Book ३५

Kenneth Lee Pike
Ne’er met a language he didn’t like.
Lauded creator of etic and emic,
& a “demonstrably monolingual” acadēmic.
—Κόμμα Ο᾿Κῶλον

Epitaph for SpecGram
Spurious etymologies,
Puns included,
Extraordinary analyses that just might be right,
Choose your own career (though it makes you sad),
Government and binding in a liguisticky light,
Reviews of non-existent books that send up fads,
Aimless rantings, just like real papers,
Much like The Onion but with nerdy capers.
—Col. O. Nihilist

Rubāʿī Concerning Discourse
Come, chart a text, and tag its parts of speech;
Its units, chunks and phraseslabel each;
The analyst depends upon thy toil
To place Discourse’s soul in Reason’s reach.
—Omar Khayyam

Of those born speaking English it’s said
Learning languages is what they most dread.
Why should they take the trouble?
Shouldn’t we burst the bubble
Of TESOLers and EFLers instead?
—Cailín na Luimní

There once was a linguist named Byrd
With preconceived notions of “word”;
All day in his brain
He filled syllable planes:
All other distinctions were blurred.
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign

In suspenders and pants and a vest,
Looking nerdybut smartI impressed.
In the States that was fine
But a Brit friend of mine
Thought me kinky and quite underdressed.
—MJ Simpson
Originally published in Lynne Murphy’s Separated by a Common Language blog

Letters to the Editor
Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson
SpecGram Vol CLXXVII, No 2 Contents