/nuz baɪts/ SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 3 Contents The Nutritional Value of Phonemes—D. I. E. Titian & Vic Tuals

Book ५८

New Yorkers debate metrosexuals,
While for Texans it was Metroplexuals.
In th’academy, though,
It’s different, you know,
So for Anglists it’s all retroflexuals.
—Pumptilian Perniquity

Of nominal tense, Guaraní
Makes use, and so naturally
Both once and future kings
Indeed are well-formed things
And ex-leaves do make the best tea.
—Κόμμα Ο᾿Κῶλον

What’s syntax? Words in combination
Or tightly constrained transformations?
Or simply a spandrel
The product of mental
Disorderor some god’s creation?
—Charles Deakens

Indecency everything taints:
It’s a subject of frequent complaints.
Whoever would think
That for optimal kink
There’s a website called “Rank My Constraints”?
—Pete Bleackley

Hibbledy quibbledy
Stop splitting hairs with me.
My issue’s based on prag-
matics alone.

Don’t confuse matters with
That isn’t why I said,
“Don’t use that tone!”
—Sandy! Sandhi! Sundaé!

/nuz baɪts/
The Nutritional Value of PhonemesD. I. E. Titian & Vic Tuals
SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 3 Contents