Disclaimer
	Introduction
Piled Higher and Deeper
	On the Meta-Abstractness of the Abstract Abstract—Métha Maxwell
	Ph.D. Qualifying Examination for Linguistics—Saudade Gezellig
	On the Two Main Types of Computational Linguists—J. Random Linguist
	Handy Definitions for Newcomers to the Field of Linguistics—Ken Miner and David J. Peterson
	New Methods in Linguistic Laboratory Acquisition—Anthesteria Dionysia
	Out of the Mouths of Linguists—Namtrah Nevets
Look What the Doggerel Dragged In
	I Think That I Shall Never See—Bill Spruiell
	The Compleat Linguist—John-Boy Walton
	When I Heard the Learn’d Linguist—Sophrosyne Enchiridion
	English on the edge—Terence MacNamee
	Nursery Rhymes From Linguistics Land—Yune O. Hūū, II
The Immoral Imperative Mood
	More Murphy’s Laws for Linguists—Trey Jones & Bill Spruiell
	Ten New Commandments for Linguists—Trey Jones, et al.
And Now a Word from Our Sponsor
	New Advances in Morpheme Detoxification—D.O.G.M.A.
	The Phone-of-the-Month Club—Advertisement
	!Kanga Tribal Research Resort—Terry Mulkern
What Do You Mean, “Illogical”?
	What Part of ‘No’ Don’t You Understand?—Strang Burton
	Another Snag in Semantic Theory—Benoît de Cornulier
	Everything Logicians Need to Know about Linguistics, but are (Posited to be) Afraid to Ask—Keith Slater, Trey Jones, and Two Anonymous Linguists from Omaha
	Logical Fallacies for Winning Arguments and Influencing Decisions—F. “Al” Lacie, Ph.D.
Describing the Theoretically Indescribable
	When Bad Informants Happen to Good Linguists—Michael M. T. Henderson
	Two Varieties of Stromboli—Michael M. T. Henderson
	First Footsteppings into the Barvalian Language—Metalleus
Effing the Theoretically Ineffable
	On Google, Wikipedia, and The Development of The Internet—Fædrus Ϙ. Χ. Plaid’oh
	More Glimpses into the Collective Subconscious—Fom Pop
	On the Continuing Obvious Superiority of Relational Networks in Representing Just About Anything—S.M. Lockwood and D.G. Lamb
	Regarding the Development and Decay of Mongolian Vowel Harmony: with Special Reference to Copernicus and Galileo—Robert I. Binnick
Not So New Media
	Minimalism: The Movie—David Ingram
	Word-TV—Brought to You by Unaccountable Network Executives
	The Olde Yankee Grammarian—Elan Dresher
	False Friends—Trey Jones
Administrivia
	Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca—Style Sheet and Submission Guidelines—Eddy Turr

	Speculative Grammarian / Lingua Pranca Archives