The Phone-of-the-Month Club—Advertisement Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca Contents What Part of ‘No’ Don’t You Understand?—Strang Burton
!KANGA Tribal Research Resort/Tabora, Tanzania/1-800-PUBLISH

It's the law of the academic jungle...
      Publish or Perish!
            Anthropologists, ethnologists, linguists: the evolutionary alternative awaits...

!KANGA Tribal Research Resort

!KANGA: Because fieldwork doesn't have to be work

It’s an old dilemma: you must publish to get ahead, but who has time when fieldwork is so exhausting, time-consuming, and difficult?

You’re about to discover a veldt of a deal: !KANGA Tribal Research Resort provides the discerning social scientist with all the tools necessary for top-flight research, on some of the most fascinating hunter-gatherers around, while keeping you in the kind of style not usually associated with the Dark Continent.

!KANGA resort staff are ready to assist you with a dizzying array of services: complete travel arrangements; grant-writing help; even the inside stuff on the editors of top journals. And our accommodations are first rate, as you’d expect. But the real stars at !KANGA, of course, are the people themselves: Friendly, engaging, and eager to indulge your pet theory.

        All our exciting packages include airfare from NY, accommodations, overland travel, and research prep services. Taxes, tribute, gratuities extra.        
“Louis Leakey”
1 month basic research
Features translator, 1 informant, community tent, complimentary artifact, religious ritual, bonus audio tape. Great for grad students or adjunct faculty. Dry season only.
      “Noam Chomsky”
1 week linguist special
Trained informants rehearse your script, speak confidently into included tape recorder. Perfect for that hard-to-prove theory, hard-to-please editor. Choice of souvenir artifact.
us$5,995 us$1,995
“Desmond Morris”
2 month shot at tenure
All above, plus: 3 informants, brush shelter (double occupancy), 3 day/2 night hunting trip, feast (in season), participation in religious ritual, bonus video. Get your vitae in gear.
      “Joseph Campbell”
2 week myth and magic
All-night fireside highlights. Included tape recorder catches the action as tribe weaves web of mystery. Pre-recorded collection “The Golden Baobab: Legends of !KANGA” included.
us$12,995 us$2,995
“Margaret Mead”
3 month career maker
All above, plus private hut, feast in your honor, shaman access, sex secrets, induction into tribe, funeral rites (if available), bonus body scarification. Book deal, Yale sniffing around.
      “Richard Gere”
1 day celebrity photo op
Concerned, conscientious, but no time? Give the gift of Gaia with 1 day compound walk-around. 2 rolls of film and professional photographer provided. Shaman access available.
us$18,995 us$1,495
      It’s up to you

Yes, we all know teaching is important work, fulfilling work. But do you really want to face the dulled young faces of one more Anthro 101, one more semester, for the rest of your life? At !KANGA we understand what it takes to succeed. We’ve been hunting and gathering in the same marginal territory for ten thousand years, which should strike a chord as you survey your own picked-over field.

And when you’re ready, we’re ready, kaross in hand, to help you harvest the fruits of your academic success.


The Phone-of-the-Month Club—Advertisement
What Part of ‘No’ Don’t You Understand?—Strang Burton
Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca Contents