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Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... [ more ] 
Which Tea You Should Be Drinking, A Guide by Linguistic Subdiscipline. Hitosarai Yōkai Ūron, Senior Research Fellow, Capsule Corporation, West City. The drinking of tea is and always has been an important part of academic linguistics, and the slow but steady decline of armchairs in the global research communityi means this situation will only get worse. It is also now becoming apparent that the new generation of future researchers in our field often struggle immensely with knowing what they are meant to be doing and what signals they send to their established colleagues through simple choices such as the statistical model they use or the variety of tea they drink. While it is rather difficult to help ... [ more ]
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Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXVIII, Number 2 Special Schwa Issue Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Senior Editor, Pete Bleackley, Contributing Editor, Deak Kirkham, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Vincent Fish, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Luca Dinu, Matthew Lee, Tel Monks, Steve Politzer-Ahles, Mary Shapiro, Reed Steiner; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Centrally Located, Mid-Mouth, With Detached Frenulum Linguæ September 2020 ... [ more ]
ADVERTISEMENT Series Announcement from Xerus & Ratufa Press. Studies in Contemporary Vietnamese Influences on English. Xerus & Ratufa are inordinately pleased to announce our latest offerings for the better, more discerning sort of linguist: Studies in Contemporary Vietnamese Influences on English. With the spread of Vietnamese cuisine around the world, the language of its creators has spread with it, altering phonological systems everywhere. Xerus & Ratufa Editor-in-Chief Bill Coyne-Buckslightener states, “Historical linguists have often reconstructed instances where under conditions of language contact, earlier restricted distributions have been broadened, such as the phonemicization of voiced ... [ more ]
PAID ADVERTISEMENT — http://SpecGram.com/PaniniPress Now available from Panini Press: EuroSprachGames ... Carcassonorant In this ingenious tile-laying game, players construct dialect regions by creating a fictionalized map of the southern French countryside. Each player, in turn, draws a tile, which may bear a vowel or consonant or an urban or rural isogloss line. He must then place the tile such that it matches those already played. Points are scored by completely encircling a contiguous region with ... [ more ]
Speculative Grammarian is proud to present yet another semi-regular installment in the Linguistic Anthropologic Monograph Endowment’s Bizarre Grammars of the World Series. Morphological Spectroscopy. An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Wuh Nwur Dianz. Bizarre Grammars of the World, Vol. 59, Recently I have had the pleasure of investigating a previously unstudied language of the Caucasus mountains, which I have tentatively placed in a fairly obvious location near the root of the Dené-Sino-Caucasian macro-family tree. The people who taught me about their language call themselves—and I in turn call their ... [ more ]
Linguistics Nerd Camp. Bethany Carlson. The linguists strike back ... [ more ]
ADVERTISEMENTS Ədvɚtəs’mənts. Feeling stressed? Wound up? Anxious? Overworked? With our Get Schwa Get Fit 6-week programme, we’ll have you de-stressing your vowel articulation in no time—and muscle tension, back pain and headaches will quickly melt away.. • ° ə ə ° •. Are you a civil engineer, erecting multi-storey buildings on and around tectonic plate boundaries? With our patented Schw-Architecture system, you can test the stress resistance of any car park, hotel, commercial skyscraper or runway simply by articulating unstressed mid-central vowels in the direction of the concrete.. ... [ more ]
Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... [ more ]
The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English Departments. Now with Footnotes! Athanasious Schadenpoodle. So, Dear Reader, you have completed your Ph.D. in Linguistics (yay you!), run headlong into the grim realities of the modern job market (poor you!), broadened your ideas about possible teaching contexts (smart you!) and landed a gig in an English department (lucky you?). You’ve potentially got the base of the Maslovian pyramid covered for at least a semester, but you’re in a rather alien environment, surrounded by people who talk funny in a way that Dialectology 501 never prepared you for and who have some markedly odd folkways. Some culture shock is inevitable, but a little knowledge can go a long ... [ more ]
Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]
SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]
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Last updated Sep. 30, 2020.