A Sample of Edictatorial Injunctions/Ruminations..—Trey Jones and Madalena Cruz-Ferreira
	Dedication—Mikael Thompson
	Editor’s Contractually-Obligated Introduction—Mikael Thompson
	Letter From an Editor—Athanasious Schadenpoodle
	Toward a Prophylactic Approach to Techblather: Some Illustrations—Athanasious Schadenpoodle
	Help!—A Letter From Another Editor—Jouni Maho
	Preliminary Report: Speculative Grammarian—Quine & Assoc
	Secret Places Discovered—Alibaba Loquat Smith-Guernsey
	The Legend of Trey—Hemeralda Ilissey
	Notes on Sociophonology—Lea Kim Shopmont
	Prescriptive Linguistics—The Future of our Field—Anonymous
	Per Legale Judicium Parium Suorum
	First Names First—Tim Pulju
	Speculative Grammarian Archives