To Whom It May Concern—A Letter from the Managing Editor
	Re: Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics—A Letter to the Editor—H I A W Papi, D. Litt, M. Phil (Oxon.), Ph. D. (Oxon.)
	Assistant Professor’s Song—J. M. Unger
	Pragmatist Arrested, Charged—Associated Linguists Press
	A Lost Chapter from The Little Prince—Olaf Olafson
	How To Make A Linguistic Theory—Metalleus
	An optimality-theoretic account of split-ergativity in Southern Quiznos—Hans Forz
	Book Review: Point’s A Grammar of the Lederhosen Tai—Enrich Barbarosa del la Boca, Ph.D
	Linguistic Linguistics—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press
	The Lingo! A car designed for linguists... by linguists—Psammeticus Motors
	Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part I—Non-Configurational Languages—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.
	Masyu Ortograpiu—Trey Jones
	Speculative Grammarian Archives