Snot-Caked Coke Nuggets XXIII—Advertisement SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 3 Contents Pseudo-Q—Mark Mandel & Trey Jones
Speculative Grammarian
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Poulsen Tele­gra­phones (2), Kay Sona-Graph DSP 5500, Electro Voice 630 V2 microphones (3); IBM 5100 Personal Computer; Eugene Dietz­gen Company Improved Mann­heim Simplex Slide Rules (4), XT Uzi/Reel-to-Reel Recorders (3); Miscellaneous logarithm tables and nomo­graphs of various vintages.
Contact UGOLINO, SG Box 5668.
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For sale, common sense theories, never used. Contact Wm. Jones, SG Box 9–28.
For sale, 47 lightly used sets of clothes for cats, most unsoiled. Purr-fect for dressing your little fur-baby up for holiday card photos, amusing selfies, and other wild­’n’­wacky fun while dis­ser­ta­ting. $2 apiece, except $3 for the special graduation gown so you two can celebrate together. Contact MT, SG Box МУУР.
I wish to sell, vend, trade, exchange, retail, hawk, peddle or liquidate my thesaurus. Contact PMRoget, SG Box 1852.
FOR SALE: Sheet of old vellum, folded with “EXPLI­CATIO” written on the outside. Inside, gibberish characters in one column with weird Latin next to it. Probably meaningless, but a good stocking stuffer for antiquarians. 20€ plus postage to P. Voynich, Tel­šiai, Lithuania.
Has your wug been tested?
Blind man seeks semantic ambiguity removal company. Contact SWonder, SG Box 81.
★★ Which seeks spell chequer. Contact WWotW, SG Box RUBY. ★★
Wanted: well-behaved natural language data. The time is ticking on my tenure clock and I need to get a paper out there quick. Do you have some easy and accessible data to share? I need something that patently supports any version of Chom­skyan syntactic theory. Will trade my own unruly field data if you’re interested in a swapI can’t see any interesting patterns in it myself, but I suppose some typologist could “discover” something in it. Contact AssProf, SG Box 10UR.
If anyone has seen my data ... please don’t tell anyone what it’s really like.
The Society for the Acceptance of Angli­cisms in French is seeking new members. Let’s do le brunch on le week-end!
The Society for the Acceptance of Spoken French as a Polysynthetic Language calls on you to help us fight the good fight. L’orthographe n’est pas le destin!
The Society for the Acceptance of the Rejection of Societies for the Acceptance of Things About Languages, Particularly French is seeking fewer members, for our own group and for other groups in the “Society for the Acceptance of <something-something> French” style. Make it stop! When all the others are gone, we will disband as well.
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Join The Rasmus Rask Society for the Appreciation of Rasmus Rask and All Things Related to Rasmus Rask Because We Really Like Saying Rasmus Rask; He Certainly Was a Good Looking Rascal, but by Jove! His NameRasmus RaskIs Fun to Say; And Yes All of That Is in the Name of Our Rasmus Rask–Loving Society, Including This Bit.
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Contact Butch McBastard ℅ Speculative Grammarian, for more information about Rasmus Raskor, just look up Rasmus Rask on Wikipedia.
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Wugii for sale. Experienced owneri only. Contact Gleason-Gleasoni, SG Box 123.
/m/ seeks /f/ to form minimal pair. Contact H.Eng, SG Box ♥Phoney♥.
Theorist seeks field researcher for mutual distrust. [No contact information provided.]
Attractive [citation needed] Wiki­pedia editor seeks similar for purely platonic relationship [dubious – discuss]. Contact Wiki­Gnome, SG Box ♥WP:NOT­A­DAT­ING­SER­VICE♥.
Kinky syntactician seeks similar politician for government and binding. Contact LilHægewoman, SG Box ♥TieMeUp♥.
Dated, dative, and dating: “Who” seeks single “m” to objectify me. Contact DatAsterisk, SG Box ♥***♥.
Comma looking for a full-stop top. Let’s join but keep things independent. Contact PunktyBrewster, SG Box ♥Semi♥.
Have your wugs been tested?

Snot-Caked Coke Nuggets XXIIIAdvertisement
Pseudo-QMark Mandel & Trey Jones
SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 3 Contents