To the few, the brave, the gastrointestinally troubled
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What may not be fronted in your cortical processing is that all these articles were created by ordinary people.2 These people actually have day jobs, eliciting data from defenceless children, attacking language with algorithms or sitting in soundproofed booths waffling.
Our contributors are, in a phrase, people like you.3 They laugh, they cry, they make puns
Don’t you wish your family were like that?
In my [redacted] years in this, rather unique, team, I have been pleasantly surprised that they were not, as I had assumed, a group of social misfits with no connection to or knowledge of the outside world.4 No, no, no, I have found that they are, in fact a group of academically minded nerds with a gift for sarcasm and a love of absurdity, which may perhaps mean the same thing but I digress.
There is simply no other group on this planet like the SpecGram editorial team and you should join them.
Signed,
Jonathan Downie PhD (June 2016)
Associate Editor and Head Punster5
1 Speak for yourself. —Other Eds.
2 For a given definition of ordinary.
3 Assuming you too enjoy making jokes out of obscure linguistic theory, family dynamics, interns, the facial hair of sheep, and the, Oxford, comma.
4 Even Pete, who’s a conlanger.
6 Yes, no one else does puns about craniums.7
7 Jonathan believes that his contract entitles him to the title in question. Careful parsing by our legal team, however, reveals only that we are required to let him think he has and/or deserves the title. —Legal Eds.
