SpecGram Vol CLXXII, No 3 Contents Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Plagiarize This!

A Letter from an Unidentifiable Subset of the SpecGram Editorial Board

It has come to our attention that entirely unfounded, spurious, and indefatigable accusations of heinous plagiarism have been made against the X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. Specifically, these allegations involve recent articles in degenerative linguistics, which, we are told, included “large” blocks of “identical” text.

Philip Baldi, 1991, Patterns of Change, Change of Patterns: Linguistic Change and Reconstruction Methodology, Mouton de Gruyter.

Chiasmus of the Month
March 2015

We at SpecGram have long been used to such scandal.* In 1984, we were accused of being part of a large-scale anti-minimalist conspiracy. In 2007, we were accused of attempting humour while in possession of field data, and in 2013 we were falsely accused of having had greater impact on the world than the entire back catalogue of Language.

Our response to these latest allegations is similar.** We deny any knowledge of plagiarism or malpractice. We were not “aware” that “large” blocks of “text” were “copied” until confronted with the issue by snooty “reporters” with their “microphones” and “questions”. We use exactly the same level of rigor in our procedures as any other journal: we send articles to strangers, wait for about two years and then approve them anyway, pending payment for publication.

This is the tried-and-tested method used in much of linguistics—nay much of modern academia. We ask, if there were something wrong with this, would we not have discovered it by now? After all, has not XQK delivered us such valuable research as the first appearance in print of the rectal plosive, an impactful delineation of familial linguistics, and the most truthful explanation of the origins of modern linguistics ever seen?

Thus, instead of castigating XQK over what amounts to no more than standard academic practice when reviews are coming up, we ask all our readers to join us in congratulating them on the recent large increase in their citation index, placing them level with the most successful literature scholar ever: Prof. Yuve-Nevah Herdovim.


* Though this particular witch hunt has been exceedingly vitriolic—hence the attribution to an “Unidentifiable Subset” of the Editorial Board. Several of these losers were too scared to put their reputations on the line. That’s not very “Butch”, is it?

** Yes, we published that paid attack ad from The Linguistic Inquirer in this issue. So what? Their money spends as well as anybody else’s, and they have as much right to make fools of themselves in our hallowed pages as the next buffoon.

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson
SpecGram Vol CLXXII, No 3 Contents