## Virtual
NLP Dice

### The *SpecGram* Überlinguistaffen

[**Re-roll.**]
[**Re-roll like
**__you mean it!!__]

As many successful practitioners of Natural Language Processing know, the surest path to success is to come up with some complicated-looking equation and then rest on your mathematical laurels for the rest of your career—because “Math is hard, and hard things are for smart people, and smart people are just better. QED.”

Or so we learned from the original ad for NLP Dice: “Local Linguist Mom Discovers One Weird Trick for Deriving NLP Equations!—Computational Linguists Hate Her!” (*SpecGram* CLXIX.1, 2014).

It turns out that computational linguists hated her even more than anyone could have ever imagined. The Computational Linguistics Internation Qabal of Über Experts (also—pretentiously—known as “The CLIQüE”) invoked a legal mishmash of claims of patent infringement, trade secret precedent, EPA Superfund regulations, forced mediation procedures, statistically valid literary tropes, and Python syntax to force the Local Linguist Mom to stop selling her NLP Dice in late 2019.

Well, the *SpecGram* Überlinguistaffen were having none of that, so we created some Virtual NLP Dice to meet all of your NLP-related equation-deriving needs. Enjoy!