Teaching Historical Linguistics: A Program of Much-Needed Reform—Lea Kim Shopmont SpecGram Vol CLXXX, No 2 Contents Linguistics 101 Course Syllabus—Fall 2097—University of Coastal Florida, Orlando Island Campus

Master Course Syllabus Revision
Fall 2020

LING 950: Dank Senior Semiotics: You Can Even!

  1. Bulletin Description

    Your Deluxe Learner Experience in Semiotic Analysis Product Leveraging will allow you to operationalize your learnings across a plethora of entrepreneurial venues! Course will also refer to Sebeok, Peirce, Žižek, TropeTumblrBob. Course counts as elective in General Education Group 4A: Self-Branding through Language.

  2. Pre/Co-Requisites:

    Credit rating of B or higher.

  3. Marketing Prospects
    Using the proper critical terminology is an invaluable group-identity-marking accessory, allowing future employees to participate in Corporate Academic Profit-Center Structures while maintaining a marketable appearance of being aloof from them. The course should be of particular interest to students intending careers in Media Capital departments, as many corporations use personnel with the course’s skillset focus to mitigate public relations threats via co-option strategies. Demand should remain high, since turnover guarantees a higher placement rate than would otherwise be possible, and the traditional Humanities stance toward applied fields allows graduates to maintain high self-image despite shameful exploitation while being a valued team member in a maximally-optimized remuneration-and-reward-tracking excellence infrastructure.

  4. Student Learning Course Objectives
    By the end of the course, students will be able to:
    • Demonstrate sufficient mastery of technical terminology to convince their cohorts and regional employers that they have mastered technical terminology, and thus semiotic analysis, therefore reducing complaints about course cost to an acceptable level.

    • Deploy semiotic analyses primarily designed only to signal solidarity with other semioticians, rather than to affect the lives of the general public, thus minimizing threats to marketing-based profit enhancement programs or to HR behavioral baseline targets.

    • Display messaging leadership behaviors that increase the University’s attractiveness to potential revenue and/or cultural capital sources.

  5. Course Materials
    As per University Budgetary Enhancement Initiative 23-A, texts per section will vary based on what current franchising agreements are in place. At least 70% of course content will use colorful, animated situation comedies and/or Wikipedia-assisted fact-quoting tests to maximize student satisfaction with course and minimize threats to student self-image.

  6. Course Evaluation
    Grade spectrum will be set according to University’s current base min-max calculations of relation between student perceptions and enrollment-profitability cutoffs, modified by +1.2 (the standard Humanities parameter).

Teaching Historical Linguistics: A Program of Much-Needed ReformLea Kim Shopmont
Linguistics 101 Course SyllabusFall 2097University of Coastal Florida, Orlando Island Campus
SpecGram Vol CLXXX, No 2 Contents