/nuz baɪts/
Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers.
Theorist Admits Fudging Data—No One Surprised
A member of the Society for Spurious Grammaticality Judgements has admitted creating example sentences simply to further his own theories. The theorist, who could not be named as you probably haven’t heard of him, pleaded guilty to numerous counts of linguistic knottiness, logical leaps and mis-citing critics in a trial before a professional bored. Among his more serious crimes were deliberately stating that the following sentences were grammatical:
- The hoarse horse raced past the barn door fell ill at ease into the small space suit of armour.
- In port, the portly porter ported the port, through the port port of call.
- Every farmer who owns a donkey beats it at racing but only on Tuesday when Janet and John are in the john in long-johns.
His punishment is to be seconded to a doctoral thesis proofreading factory, where he will serve a long sentence.
