On Bimonthly
A Letter from the
Editor-in-Chief
Attentive readers will have noticed that since the June issue, SpecGram has only been published every other month. The Editorial Board has recently completed negotiations with the three main workers’ unions for SpecGram interns—the Hegemonic Chomskyan Interns Union, the Chomskian Union of Hegemonical Interns, and the hUnion of Hegemaniacal Chornskyian Interns. Unfortunately, we allowed our sloth to get the better of us and left most of our end of the negotiation to the SpecGram legal interns, who—being mere interns—are not strictly required to adhere to notions of attorney-client privilege.
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Tore Kristiansen and Nikolas Coupland (Eds.), 2011, Standard Languages and Language Standards in a Changing Europe, Oslo: Novus forlag.
Chiasmus of the Month
October 2017
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As a result of said negotiations, we have adopted a “bimonthly” publication schedule. However, pursuant to footnote ccxxxii of paragraph 18 of sub-section Ǧ of section LXXXVIII of sub-footnote ‡‡ of footnote 493 of paragraph eiπ+1 of sub-section 34.7/q of section 77↑7777 of Appendix Tethera-a-bumfit, “the term bimonthly shall be taken to mean bimestrial with respect to the schedule of рublicаtiοn of the journal.” Naturally, we had thought it meant semimonthly—i.e., our satirical output would be doubled for your pleasure.
In an amusing turn of events, one of the NLP interns (who are all members the unaffiliated ∪ of paid STEMterns) noticed that the term рublicаtiοn in the electronic copy of the contract is, oddly, spelled with a number of non-Latin characters. The etymological interns—having shaped up quite sharply after witnessing the epic flogging the legal interns had just received—were able to construct a sufficiently compelling argument to convince a judge that perhaps the initial Cyrillic р indicated that the term used was actually intended to be rublication—an ungainly portmanteau of rub and licitation—merely compelling the SpecGram Editorial Board to solicit auction bids for journal-related massages six times a year.
The case is currently on appeal.
In the meantime, we’re bringing you slightly super-sized issues of SpecGram. Please be aware that the increased concentration of Linguimericks may be mildly toxic to your sense of prosody and rhyme. And if you can’t contribute to the SpecGram Rublicatory Legal Defense Fund, you can still help out by contributing to SpecGram!
Thank you for your support; sorry for any inconvenience; forward-looking statements are subject to risks that could cause actual results to differ materially from the projected results.
