No Escape From the Bremley Bump—Don’t Try Linguistic Analysis in the Privacy of Your Own Treehouse—Milton B. Radley, Ph.D. SpecGram Vol CLVI, No 1 Contents FonoFutoshiki—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

This announcement is being made only to the discerning patrons of Speculative Grammarian.

We proudly announce the formation of a new publishing house, Panini Press, solely devoted to the advancement of knowledge in the noble field of Linguistics.

Panini Press promises to offer only the finest in linguistic publications. We promise never to stoop to the level of so-called academic publishers such as Psammeticus Press (informally known in our offices as “Psammeti-Cur Press,” or more simply as “those dogs”). No vanity press identity herePanini Press will accept only manuscripts of the most praiseworthy nature, completely unlike the modus operandi of the so-called “editor” of Psammeticus Press, H.D. Onesimus, whose sole goal appears to be robbing Linguistics of the glory it deserves.

Obstinately maintaining the absolute highest standards in the field, Panini Press promises to return Linguistics to its rightful place at the pinnacle of the intellectual sciences.

Capable scholars with a meaningful contribution to make will find themselves and their worthy manuscripts warmly welcomed in our editorial offices. Drivel of the sort that can be found in the catalogs of Psammeticus Press will be summarily burned upon receipt.

Please submit manuscripts to us in care of this august periodical, whose management and editorship we hold in the utmost highest regard and esteem.❦पा

As our initial foray into returning to Linguistics its rightful glory, we are proud to present the first, carefully selected installment of our Antimetabole Linguistics Enterprise, The Historicity of Texts and the Textuality of History, by the two noted scholars of historical sociopragmatic discourse analysis, Edgartina Olláphersen and Olafrinia Etkarzön, to be published in 2009.

The more astute reader will have noticed the obvious similarity between our Antimetabole Linguistics Enterprise and the Chiasmus Linguistics Project of Psammeticus Press (those mutts). We had been approached by several eminent, classically trained scholars who had briefly considered contributing their work to the CLP, but were put off by the incorrect, though vulgarly common, use of chiasmus.

Immediately understanding their desire not to sully their hard-earned reputations by dealing with a publishing house capable of such sophomoric errors, we launched our own, correctly named enterprise.

We look forward to continuing to serve the small but rarefied population of discerning scholars wishing to publish their important works in Linguistics.❦पा

No Escape From the Bremley Bump—Don’t Try Linguistic Analysis in the Privacy of Your Own Treehouse—Milton B. Radley, Ph.D.
FonoFutoshiki—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur
SpecGram Vol CLVI, No 1 Contents