Local consultants explain that it all started with the dual marker /kwe-/, which was being reanalyzed as ‘number two’, and so acquired increasingly negative connotations, until the grammatical use was completely impossible. Consider example (1), which used to mean ‘You two have a parrot’.
(1) kwe-iko nrrat irg-ha DU-2SG EX.2SG parrot-LOC ‘You ****** on your parrot.’
When the local people were looking for help from linguists to restore their number system, they were told that the unidirectionality of grammaticalization was very robust, and that they should not worry about the phenomenon. However, matters were aggravated when the Hujulukinat accusative marker came to mean ‘idiot’, and several conjunctions and complementizers acquired the meaning of primate genitalia.
The local newspaper, still printing in the language of Hujulukinat, had to include a header which
When turning again to linguists for help, those ivory-tower academics did not stop to consider the deplorable situation of the Hujulukinat speakers, but proceeded to save the unidirectionality hypothesis by inventing a grammatical function DEROGATIVE, which is arguably even more grammatical than all others that have been lost in Hujulukinat.
The present author expresses the hope that not all linguists are as arrogant, and appeals to the linguistic community to engage in a joint effort to restore the grammar of Hujulukinat to its previous glory, remembering the words of the native poet: **** *** **** ** ****!