DESPERATELY SEEKING CHINESE PHONOLOGISTS! High salary, tenure assured. 5 positions wide-open. Some previous training preferred, but not required. Please apply, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA WE ’UNS NEED US A PRESCRIPTIVE GRAMMARIAN to learn us to talk Standard English so’s folks’ll stop laffin’ at us when we’s a-givin’ papers at linguistic conferences. An’ don’t no one go tellin’ us how we ’uns should be a-valuin’ our own dialect; we all know all about sociolinguistics, too, but y’all jus’ don’ know how hard it is, when you’re a-givin’ a paper on Vedic Sanskrit, an’ ain’t nobody listnin’ to ya ’cause a how they’s all busy laffin’. So we need us someone to show us ’bout Standard phonology an’ lexicon an’ syntax an’ what all, so’s we can learn ’em. One year appointment. Inquire Appalachian Regional University, Fort Thomas, KY SENIORS! Now seeking linguistics BA’s for management-level positions in world’s largest private linguistics firm. We favor graduates of large Midwestern land-grant universities. $50K/year to start. Send transcript to Words R Us, P.O. Box 12, New York, NY. No Bantuists need apply. ACCOMPLISHED POLYGLOT NEEDED for administrative position in Kingdom of Pontus. Ability to become fluent in over 20 local languages a must. Military ability also a plus. Contact Mithradates VII Search Committee, Sinop, Turkey.

NEED A JOB? Come to the Phonology Institute and learn how to interpret the bumps on people’s heads. 10-week course; accepted for transfer credit in linguistics departments at most large Midwestern land-grant universities. $500 course fee. Call 353-7030 for details. DEPARTMENT CHAIR NEEDED. The Department of Linguistics and Biochemistry at Deep Springs College is searching for a new chair to replace our dilapidated Louis Seize. Must be large enough to accommodate Dr. Hinkleman, who weighs 352 pounds. If you know of any bargains, please call. LINGUIST NEEDED. Emphasis in semantics and pragmatics. Temporary appointment, possibly leading to tenure-track position. Résumé to Department of Linguistics and Modern Languages, University of Ottawa. LSA DESIRES PRESIDENT. We have been unable to find anyone willing to fill this principally ceremonial position, except for Max Planck, whom we all dislike. Won’t somebody else please apply? TOO BUSY to write your dissertation? Our files contain hundreds of dissertations on every possible subfield of linguistics, all so boring that not even the original committees read them. So there’s no danger that anyone will know it isn’t yours. And all of the original authors got their degrees, so you’re safe on that account, too. For more information write to Mac’s PhD Dissertations, 482 Appletree Rd., Iowa City, Iowa, 52242.

	Noam Chomsky’s Syntactic Structures (Review)—Robert E. Lee
	Ps. Q. Vol XVI, No 3 Contents