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Introducing the
Clue-by-Four™
from ACME
Construction
Grammar, Inc.
Tired of colleagues in the English Department confusing prescriptive with descriptive? Frustrated when a visiting professor claims English is “a phonetic language”? Wince no more—swing into clarity with the Clue-by-Four™!
Precision-crafted from ethically sourced semantic driftwood, each Clue-by-Four™ is calibrated for maximum pedagogical impact.
Whether you’re dealing with a recalcitrant undergrad who thinks language “evolved for texting” or a tenured dinosaur still insisting on Sapir-Whorf like it’s a wine pairing, the Clue-by-Four™ brings discourse back into proper alignment.
Free Warning Sign Included—hang our elegant “There is such a thing as a stupid question” sign in your office to pre-empt incursions of cluelessness!
Use of the Clue-by-Four™ has probably not been approved by your Institutional Review Board. Use at your own risk. May cause abrupt paradigm shifts, improved syntax, and minor bruising to ego. Bulk discounts available.
ACME Construction
Grammar, Inc.
Because sometimes understanding
needs a little...
structural reinforcement.
