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Seeking Part-Time Adjunct Professor of Tuxedo Textile Technologies/Statistics of
Tactical Syntax
The Technical University of Texas is fixin’ to appoint a part-time Adjunct Professor of Tuxedo Textile Technologies/Statistics of Tactical Syntax. A 0.8 FTE role divided equally between the two main job responsibilities, the successful candidate will get the job.
Position Responsibilities
Required
Tuxedo Textiles Technologies
As a 24/7/52/365 tuxedo wearer, you will kindly be comfortable wearing all kinds of tuxedos in whatever kind of tuxedo-wearing contexts.
You will demonstrate a nuanced grasp of the technicalities of tuxedo textiles, preferably with a penchant for, if not a specialism in, the Lubbock Tuxedo from 1937 onwards. You will be fluent in all contemporary tuxedo textile technologies and be able to instruct the same at undergraduate and graduate level.
Statistics of Tactical Syntax Component
You will make use of unredacted, non-dactylic syntax in most if not all sentences; all sentences used in lecturing will be entirely tactically syntactically intact.
With an emerging profile in tactical syntax, you had better have expertise in the tactical uses of syntax not only in interactional/communicative situations and contexts but also in warfare, international banking, diplomacy and humanitarian work. In regard to military application of tactical syntax, you will be expected to be familiar with and work within the US Framework for Advanced Tactical Syntax.
Desirable
Tuxedo Textiles Technologies Component
If you’ve a mind to make a tuxedo, A Team–style, from between 12 and 18 random material objects, you’ve darn well gone and got yourself a 0.8 professorship, ma’am/sir!
Statistics of Tactical Syntax Component
As a statistician of tactical syntax, you should oughta be adept in a variety of statistical methods for calculating and analyzing data relevant to any domain of applicability for tactical syntax. Jerome, Kay and Jerome’s (2012) application of the chi-square test to the tactical efficacy of fronting adjunct PPs in speed dating pick-up lines should be taken as a representative of the kind and level of work expected.
As the Technical University of Texas prepares to launch its Tactical Center for the Statistical Syntax of Texan, willingness to engage in the initiative might could be seen as advantageous.
Interview Process
Candidates are expected to arrive for their interview in a tuxedo of their own design/creation and to deliver a presentation on its technical aspects including, but not limited to, color, size, shape, cut, socio-cultural significance, historical antecedents and durability. Bringing—and wearing—more than one tuxedo would be interpreted positively.
As we done implied in the job title, the role is meet, right, and ever-so-ready for cross-component fertilization. This can range from wearing one’s own (or others’) tuxedo when lecturing in the statistics of tactical syntax, or adoring one’s own (or others’) tuxedo with formulas or equations relevant to the statistics of tactical syntax.
Teaching Locations
The Tuxedo Textile Technologies role is based in the Lone Star complex in Amarillo. The Statistics of Tactical Syntax is based over yonder in the March 2, 1836 complex in Laredo. The University offers a pay-per-hour bicycle rental service to assist in transportation. This is based out of the Facilities Directorate in El Paso, open Monday 6:00 a.m.–7:00 a.m. and Friday 4:00 p.m.–5:00 p.m. Forms (to be filled out longhand) are available from Staff Services in the Beaumont campus, level 4.
