Most expensive readers,
Given our commitment to be committed to causes that seem prima facie respectable, it has come to our notice that some clarifications are in order. Apparently, our work has led to some unfortunate confusion
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For a start, while Speculative Grammarian is and always has been a bastion of open access, we use neither the Green Open Access model nor the Gold Open Access model. Instead, we use the Fuchsia Open Access Model. We don’t actually know what that means but it’s better than the brown model of some other journals. It probably involves baseball caps and double-
Similarly, it’s important to be able to tell the difference between the two IPAs: the International Phonetic Alphabet and India pale ale. Overconsumption of one will leave you in a blubbering mess, with a headache and few friends. The other is an alcoholic drink.
We must also delineate our own satirical publication from publications that accept anyone’s work simply for the right fee. The difference between Speculative Grammarian and these other, predatory, publications is simple. We don’t charge a fee, and we don’t accept absolutely everything. In fact, we have a very strenuous and strict process. Everything you submit is read by one or more editors. Writings that lead to keyboards being replaced due to the fast spread of laugh-
In this issue, you will find plenty of evidence of our standards and quality.2 If that doesn’t convince you to submit something, nothing will.
1 Incidentally, “Phonetics and Farting” would make a fabulous book title.3
2 Make of that what you will.
3 We also evidently take footnote4 jokes.5
5 For a given definition of “joke”.
6 That’s enough.
