SpecGram—Letters to the Editor

I heard that you were doing an issue on schwa. Over at Deductive Mathematician, we’ve already done a special issue on ∃ that turned the publication world upside down. Your silly little symbols should grow up!

Pshaw,
L. O’Gishun

Ӛə̣̊ әə̂ ə̃əə̐ɚӛᵊₔӛɘə̄ ə̯̋ᵊₔӭ ϶ӭə̊ ᵊₔӭə̀ə̣ә϶ ᵊₔӭ əəǝэɚəəə́ə́ ə̂϶ə̯ ǝэɚӭə̆ӭə̊ɘə̀ ə̀ӛə́ǝэə̋əəәə́ə̊ɚəə. Ə̆ӭɚ ɘəəәɚə̋϶ ᵊₔə̉ӛɚᵊɚəəə̌əəə̤̇ɘ ϶əəәɚə́ ϶ӭə̊ ə̉әәəə әə̋ə̋ӭə̃əə̰ə̭́əə̭əə̤̇ə̀ ₔᵊə̱̐ə̉əə̤̀əə̌ ə̊ɘə̆ӭə̊ɘə̀əəə̀—ɘә϶, ɚəəə́ӭə̊ɘə̀ə̋϶ ə̀ӛə́ǝэɚӭәəəɘ!—ə̇ə̋әӛə̂ə́ ӭə̆ Ə̇ə̋әə̑ə̊ə̀əəə̭̆ə Ǝə́əəәɚə́ǝэə̋әӛɘǝэӭə̇ᴲəəᵊₔə́ ᵊₔӭ ɚəə̰̄əə̂әӛə̱ɘ ӭɘ ϶ӭə̊ɚə̐ ə̃əə̯əəᶕə́ӛᵊₔəə ə̆ӭɚ әə̋ə̋ ə̰̌ᵊₔӭ ɚəəәə̀.

Ə̃əӛᵊₔə̉ ə̄ɚәə̣̃әəə̑ə ə̊ə̂ᶕɚə̰әə̄əə̤ə̤ə әə̭ɘə̀ ə̯̑әə̇ə̊ᵊₔəə ə̇ə̉әə̯̂ə̄ɚӛɘ,
Əəәəᶕᵊ Ӛәəəәɚ Әәӛәₔ
Əəə̋ə̀əəɚ Әɘᵊₔə̉ɚӭǝə̱̉эӭə̋ӭə̄ӛə́ᵊₔ ӭə̆ ᵊₔə̉əə Ə

[For the actually lazy readers of SpecGram who have not taken the opportunity to learn Ə/Perry So-so over the last thirteen years, a translation is provided. —Letters Eds.]

I am writing to you today to express my profound displeasure. For nearly thirteen years you have allowed the unfounded—nay, resoundingly disproven!—claims of Claude Searsplainpockets to remain on your website for all to read.

With grave umbrage and acute chagrin,
Əəәəᶕᵊ Ӛәəəәɚ Әәӛәₔ
Elder Anthropologist of the Ə

Speculative Grammarian accepts well-written letters commenting on specific articles that appear in this journal or discussing the field of linguistics in general. We also accept poorly-written letters that ramble pointlessly. We reserve the right to ridicule the poorly-written ones and publish the well-written ones... or vice versa, at our discretion.

	Placidly Pivotal—The Centrality of Schwa—Viquey Vauel and Weekvoe Ell
	University News
	SpecGram Vol CLXXXVIII, No 2 Contents