The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective SpecGram Vol CLXXXVII, No 3 Contents What Does the Fax Say?—Ada Cross and Tad Fox

New from Panini Press: The Journal of Lockdown Linguistics (International Edition)

Following the recent rise in Linguists having to do research from home, Panini Press has decided to create a Specialist Outlet for this new Domesticated Research. We are very pleased to announce The Journal of Lockdown Linguistics (International Edition)!

Due to a surprising-yet-delightful nimiety of Interestdriven entirely by Word-of-Mouth; what gossips linguists are!we have already received enough Submissions to fill our projected Quarterly Publication for an entire year. Below are the planned Tables of Contents for first few issues.

Volume I, Issue 1
Inaugural Issue

Inaugural Editorial  I. M. Bored and Nate Flix-Binge
The Sociolinguistics of Boredom  Will U. Eatthat
Going Mad on Language  Si Kohl ’n’ Guus Tix
Sociolinguistic Effects of COVID-19–Led Situational Changes in Food Service: When Waiters Become Delivery Folk 
Huw Stucknow and Ewell Likett-Relse
Re(re)reading Chomsky  Boa d’Uv-Aspex
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk in Apocalyptic Contexts  Finn K. Pozzie, Tiv Lee and Bee Kahlm
Declines in Linguistic Journal Pollution Resulting from Decreased Syntactician Productivity  Ivan Young-Child and N. O’Day-Kerry
Performance Poetry in Isolation  Sally Lloquey and Mona Logue
A Longitudinal Study of Phonemic Shifts in an Isolated Idiolect  Ivor Bin Esa-Long, Mai St Opsuv-Oltud
Infinite Syntax, Infinite Time  M. Bedded
Polysyllabic Adjectives for Doom Scenarios  Abe Ock, Al Iptick and Dee Zastah-Russ
The Effect on the Public of Linguistics Department Shutdowns  Noah Wan, Noah Tisst
The Semiotics of Despair-Related Noises  Si Ing, Dee Plee

Volume I, Issue 2
Special Issue on Things That Would Get You Fired in Person But Are Fine Now

The Clothing-Optional Departmental Meetings of April 2019 and April 2020: Why One Succeeded Where the Other One Failed  Noah Webb Cameron
Utterances Made While Slurping Noodles . Naysel InGressive
Holy Forking Shirtballs: Plausible Lip-Readable Substitutes for Muted Outbursts  L. N. R. Shellstrop and Χ. D. Anagonye
Correlations Between Performance Errors and Cocktail Consumption  Slur Mix-A-Lot
If You Were Not Going to Have Been Early You Cannot Have Been Going to Be Late: Using Complex Tense, Aspect, and Mood to Elide As-Yet Undetected Tardiness  P. Roe Crastin-Ashun and Bea Laittid
Maintaining a Tidy Domestic Environment in Lockdown  Dusty Ing and Vic Hulme-Ing (with I. N. Ning, A. Gann)
The Pragmatics of Procrastination: A Taxonomy of Excuses for Putting Off Work  Tom Morrow and L. Duit-Layter
Decuple Struck ZHow the Right Symbol Elevates Uvular Trills from Damning Evidence to Phonetic Exercise  Komo Tohss and T. O’Rpid
You’ve Watched All of Netflix and YouTube: What Next?  O. L. D’Philmz
It’s Not Gossip, per se: Tracking the Spread of Information in a Virtual Workplace  Bih Z. Bhoddy and Flibbert I. Gibbet
Schwas in Your Underwear and Wugs in Your Jammies: An Autoethnography of the Home-Based Linguistics Professor  Wine B. Forlunch

Volume I, Issue 3
New Horizons in Homebound Fieldwork

“Did My Neighbours Always Make That Noise?” A Narrative Account of Midnight Phonology  Cal O’Zuim
The Discourse Structure of One-Participant Conversations  Al Owne and M. Umble
The Ethics of Poking Felis catus with a Selfie Stick to Elicit Data  Tom Warner and Jerry Warner
Who Can Make Weirder Noises: A Four-Year Old or a Trained Linguist?  I. P. A. Freely and Son
Impossible No More: Using Self-Isolation Time to Prove Those IPA Guys Wrong  Vela R. Trillium
Self-Talk in Isolation: A Mental Perspective on Mono-Interlocutorial A-A Exchanges  I. M. A. Loan & I. M. A. Loan
“Won’t Stop Me Meow”: An Instrumental Phonetic Study of Feline Vocalizations Under Human-Induced Stress  Stepan de Taille and Kitty Scrad-Shard
“I Just Write What I Hear in My Head”: How Conlangs Proliferate During Social Distancing  Al Ahloan
Satirising Linguistics as Flogging Dead Horses  Ivor Stikken-Whipp and Bea D’Horse
Non-Human Language Companions  Ray Dio and Tee Vee
A Study of Mass Idiolectal Pidginization: What Happens When Homebound Linguists Read All Those Grammars They’ve Collected  Creeze Kuhl, N. Souza Chamorro, and O. Polly Nawtu
Longitudinal Decline of Coherence of Pet-Directed Speech  Ura Kitty, Huey Z. A. Goodboy, and Polly Wanna-Cracker

Volume I, Issue 4
Applied Quarantined Linguistics

The Effects of Poor Sound and Juddery Video on Online Thesis Defences  Sally Kype and Cal O’Zuim
A Numerical Account of Attendances at Online Linguistic Theory Lectures  Ewan Mee
10 Levels Per Week (But Still No Productive Fluency)  Ona-Lynn Langwich-Lurning
Mediated Multitasking Meetings: Features in the Discourse of Department Meetings Which Have Been Minimized by Every Participant  Abesinth Tshair
The Semiotical Significance of Surprised Background Spouses Vi Rawl 
42 Students, 5 Views: A Look at the Efficacy of Asynchronous Virtual Learning Y. Dewey DeWitt
Lip Reading and Interpreting Body Language from Afar  Wynn D’Owe, Watt Ching
“Studying” Less Widely Spoken Languages on Online Learning Platforms  Laslow-Nabitt O’Irish, N. Finnish
Self-Directed Talk as a Memory Aid  N. D. Kitchen, Y. Didi Kumheer, and Wat M. Eyeduein
Lockdown Language Teaching: From the Language Classroom to Online Tutor  Indie Nett, Len Guage, Trey Knorr
Effects of Quarantine on the Working Practices of Self-Employed Computational Linguists  Noah di Ferrence

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective
What Does the Fax Say?Ada Cross and Tad Fox
SpecGram Vol CLXXXVII, No 3 Contents