Letters to the Editor SpecGram Vol CLXXXV, No 3 Contents Linguimericks—Book ६६

/nuz baɪts/

Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers.

Machines Equal Professional Translators

After the disappointment of finding that recent claims that machine translation had reached human translator parity only worked if you used a very loose definition of “human translator”, scientists at the University of Catool have announced that they have succeeded in equalling professional translators on more useful measures than any previous system.

Using a tiered, pyramidal, pseudo-artificial neurotic network system, they have succeeded in creating a computer that can drink coffee, complain about low-paying clients and derive puns indistinguishably from any professional.

Early attempts to succeed at the three activities ended up producing a computer showing signs of hyperactivity and covering three walls of the laboratory in used filter paper. However, once the results were fed back into the network for processing, the system could be left unsupervised with a tall latté and produce output such as:

I gave up on CAT tools even though it reduced my workload, you could say I am on a word fast.

My client wouldn’t pay for repeated words, so I took them all out, put them in a list and told him to insert them where necessary.

Letters to the Editor
LinguimericksBook ६६
SpecGram Vol CLXXXV, No 3 Contents