Following the recent highly successful and positively reviewed1 issue on Okhamian thought in language, SpecGram Events Inc had taken the initiative of initiating initial contact with both William of Ockham and his mortal enemy and eternal nemesis, John Duns Scotus, with the aim of setting up an evening of debate and discussion on the problem of universals in relation to language.
At the suggestion of Boethius, this was to take to the form of a 30-minute wrestling match between the two esteemed mediaeval scholars, followed by a five-
SpecGram Events were due to announce this event a week on Saturday with front row tickets from $750 dollars, gallery seats from $737 and free entry for volunteers.3 However, in Scotus’ recent Royal Society lecture addressing the problem of universals, in which the universal of ‘fight’ was used extensively throughout his argument, Scotus showed that this universal does not exist in reality and is merely a construct of mind. In view of this, SpecGram Events is forced to cancel the event unless and until it is demonstrated to be an ontic.4 Readers and potential attendees can, nevertheless, imagine the event without fear of philosophical error.
1 My mum flicked through it and said, ‘Yes, that’s interesting, dear.’
2 According to the anonymous Tractatus Okhamanius, no sooner had William emerged from Mrs of Ockham’s womb than he reached for one of the nearby Kalashnikovs and, with an ironically raised post-
3 Subject to an application administration fee of $736.
4 Not to be confused with ‘antique’. A demonstration, however watertight, that the proposed event is actually a priceless Ming dynasty vase will not suffice to see the event uncancelled.
|The Influence of Seasonings in Middle and Modern English
|SpecGram Vol CLXXXIX, No 3 Contents|