Learn the simplest way to multiply income streams. Occam’s Fund­raiser Jobs.

Are your local skeptics too complex? Try Occam’s Naysayer.

Occam’s Raisers Day Care. Childcare, simply. (Warning: children must not be multiplied beyond necessity.)

Want to torment new initiates into your fraternity, but don’t have the time and money for elaborate rituals? Outsource to Occam’s Hazer!

Is your hair multiplying beyond necessity? Razor just not doing the job? Try Occam’s Laser Hair Removal!

“I couldn’t shave myself because my trusty old razor had gone blunt. And my barber wouldn’t shave me because he only shaves men who don’t shave themselves (or something like that). So I was in quite a complex quandary. But thanks to Occam’s Laser Hair Removal, my chin is as beautifully bald as the present King of France, and I’m no longer an unmarried bachelor.”

Superheated groundwater the simple way—Occam’s geyser.

Weather forecasting made simple with Occam’s Radar!

Haven’t the time to binge-watch classic sitcoms? Try the collected best episodes: Occam’s “Frasier”.

Measuring the volume of objects through immersion in liquid is a messy business. Indeed, those who attempt it often end up running around dripping wet, with no clothes on, yelling in Greek. Are you vexed by volume? Try the simple solution: Occam’s Displacer!

Find the perfect compliment for any occasion with Occam’s Praiser.

Fancy French cooking techniques leave you bewildered? Get simply delicious results with Occam’s Braiser!

Are your scheduled appointments multiplying beyond necessity? Make your calendar more parsimonious with Occam’s Days-er!

Correct any mis-spellings involving the first letter of the Latin alphabet with Occam’s re-‘A’s-er.

So often I need to pick something up and just can’t find the energy. But now I’ve got Occam’s Raiser, and I find I can lift anything from a bowling ball to a car, my salary, or even an embedded subject.

Occam’s Raiser—it raises what needs raising.

Want to find the simplest way to shave?

★★★ Blast your way through unnecessary complexity with OCCAM’S LASER ★★★

Feel like comparing the exercise levels of Scotsmen? Try Och, Ah’m Lazier.

Breathe easy with Ockham’s Nasal Spray.

Are you a new age yoga / mindfulness / meditation practitioner who’s had enough of a succession of mantras to guide you inner journey? Try these ultimate spiritual words for a parsimonious sure-fire route to your own nirvana: “Oh, calm’s rays! Ah! Oh, calm’s rays! Ah! Oh, calm’s rays ...”

The singing group OckhaPella, famous for reducing songs to a bare minimum number of notes, is seeking a minimal number of new members. Contact band leader William XXIV of Ockham for details.

Occam’s Stargazer Update: Astronomers have discovered a comet passing near the center of our solar system. Whereas most minor planets follow complex orbits, this one traces out what seems to be the simplest possible path. The comet has been dubbed “Occam’s Sun-Grazer”.