Why not improve the bottom line by extracting some “donations” from your grad students? They’ll be willing contributors when you endow your department lounge with one of our Linguistics Gaming Machines! We have a wide variety of Gaming Machines
The machine is operated by Principles, so that you have to state a Universal Principle before the mechanism can be set into motion. (You also have to swipe a credit card.) Multiple Principle input formalisms are available
On winning, the machine returns a book making wild claims about all the Universal Principles that have been fed into the machine since the last win.
This classic gaming machine looks like a test of skill: a claw dangles above an assortment of textbooks required for next semester’s Linguistics classes.
The player uses the control levers to position the Claw above the textbook s/he needs, presses the button, and hopes!
Machine setup allows your department chair to decide how frequently a book will be grabbed, up to a 13% “success” rate.
Grad students adore the whole-
There’s no up front cost to play: the player’s losses are subsumed in the category of “fees” on his or her bill from the University in the following semester.
The Ultimate Deluxxe Linguistics Gaming Machine is the Gamblin’ Mechanical Turk. Students learn important lessons about statistics, data science, and artificial intelligence while the Gamblin’ Mechanical Turk learns their tells and statistically significant betting patterns.
The Gamblin’ Mechanical Turk includes dozens of gambling games of skill and chance with cards and dice, and allows bets as low as $1 per hand. Some of the most popular games include:
A perfect score of 21 is attained when your hand displays reduplication. The dealer wins if you only manage to collect mere affixes. Be careful not to allow morphophophophonological processes to cause you to go bustbust!
A poker game in which you try to attach your upturned cards to those of the players on either side of you.
Other games the Gamblin’ Mechanical Turk can play include Backchannel Baccarat; Flaps, Taps, and Craps; Keno Pikeo; Backformationgammon; and many poker varieties, such as Drawl Poker and Oxford Comma Stud.