/nuz baɪts/

Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers.

Public Health Warning Issued

The Institute of Linguistic Health has ordered an immediate recall for all theory books written between the years 1950 and the present day over concerns that they might cause irredeemable confusion and dizziness if read in large amounts. Especially concerning are texts on postmodernism, literary linguistics, and historical linguistics, given their propensity to create feelings of self-doubt and nausea. Works in glottochronology, X-bar theory, corpus linguistics, and descriptive translation studies have been deemed mostly harmless as no one pays much attention to them anyway.

	Letters to the Editor
	Linguimericks—Book ३८
	SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 Contents