Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers.
A recent paper published by a team at the University of Doge claims that repeated exposure to lolspeak, funneh kittehs and rage comics decreases heart rate and stress, and brings much fun. When exposed to meme sharing sites for three hour bursts, 999 of the 1000 experimental subjects showed signs of positive physical health, chanting the words “me gusta” over and over again. Sadly, the results on their mental health and ability to survive in human society were destroyed in an accident involving a socially awkward penguin, an overly attached girlfriend and a kitten riding a small ball. The researchers responsible for this work claimed that their results support the view that lolspeak should be classed as a new language, in the same family as Political Spin, Klingon and Lojban.