Plentiful Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira SpecGram Vol CLXX, No 2 Contents One Hundred Words for Snowclone—Claude Searsplainpockets and X. Izthunüblakk

What English Needs: A Critical, Morphological, Syntactic, and Orthographic Analysis of the English Language

By Peter William Carrillo

By now, those of us in the linguistics field are used to hearing the “(x language) has no word for (y)” saying, and as much as we dislike it, I doubt it will go away anytime soon. The unfortunate fact is that most of the beliefs like this come from monolingual English speakers who really don’t know any better because they haven’t spent much time in other languages. The other unfortunate fact is that, more often than not, the language that is being talked about only has “no word for (y)” when it is strictly compared to English. The assumption behind this is pretty simple: whether conscious of it or not, most people are holding English up as the standard to which they are comparing all other languages. To help people realize that English is actually not the paragon of perfection (I admit to being kind of a fan of it as languages go, but I recognize that I am biased by the fact that it’s my first language), I’ve made a list of things that English doesn’t have but could really use. This is what English needs:

This list, though useful and made up of issues dear to my heart, is by no means comprehensive. I am certain scholars other than me have things that they could easily add to this list to create a fuller and more expansive picture of the kinds of things that the English language needs to adopt. My intent with this article is not to judge the English language nor to say that it is deficient in any way. Instead, all I wish to do is show areas where the English language is not the best language the world has ever seen. Where this list is insufficient in information or deficient in data, I leave it open to other scholars for further research.

Finally, I, you can’t leave without a paragraphoom detailing the change I, in the language, wantwee to see. These, the importantest change to the language are, and I, enacted in my lifetime, short hope they bewee. These, change beneficial to everyone can be for.

Plentiful Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira
One Hundred Words for SnowcloneClaude Searsplainpockets and X. Izthunüblakk
SpecGram Vol CLXX, No 2 Contents