Resuscitated Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira SpecGram Vol CLXVII, No 1 Contents The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar Writers—Phonology—Morris Swadesh III

From the Archives!A SpecGram Devotional Scroll

The SpecGram Archive Elves™

As previously reported, our very own Butch McBastard recently unearthed a satchel of papers labeled, “Top Secret SpecGram Time Capsule, 1964Do Not Open for 50 Years!”.

Of course, there was little chance we’d wait over a year to open it. The SpecGram legal team is reviewing each item from the satchel for incriminating evidence proprietary information. However, as items are cleared, we thought it would be fun to share some of them with our readers. There often isn’t a lot of specific context for any given item, but they are interesting nonetheless.

Here is the third item, a previously unknown scroll that appears to contain a devotional text for what is now known as SpecGram, the Religion. The calligraphy isn’t particularly good, and the language appears to be a degenerate form of Europanto, so this may be the personal devotional scroll of a junior associate sub-under-scribe. Nonetheless, the personal names of Æsc (here written as “Æʃ”), Θωθ, Χάοpunctum, Phonē, Ευφήμιος Ἀναξαγόρας, Частица, and ᚠᚢᚦᚩᚱᚳ are clear enough.

Θωθ. Частица. Χάοpunctum. Æʃ. Ευφήμιος Ἀναξαγόρας. Phonē. ᚠᚢᚦᚩᚱᚳ. Eli kai etkahan kaikkea saaliin taskuun iso tavalla. Avec plus ruer de il et. Ieder is op er onder jacht af. Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorum ipsum quia dolor sit amet. Mis sin chistes sea iba fingian aquello enamoro. Zitterte sah hinunter weg sog konntest gelernt schufter. Tenze silne Pytano calym.

A minor controversy has erupted in the SpecGram editorial offices over what appears to be backwards Latin, indicating that this could be the text of a SpecGram black mass. Others have pointed out the presence of an inverted A, which could indicate instead the involvement of mathematicians or logicians, which would be even worse. The consensus, though, is that these concerns are overblown, and you should feel free to make a copy of the scroll for your own personal devotional use. You are unlikely to summon Частица, Chomsky, or any other demons.

More to come...

Resuscitated Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira
The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar WritersPhonologyMorris Swadesh III
SpecGram Vol CLXVII, No 1 Contents