Even More Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira SpecGram Vol CLVII, No 3 Contents A Menu for Linguists—The <i>SpecGram</i> Chefs

Preliminary Studies in the Lexicology of Imaginary Language

By Dr. I.R. Superordinate, Chair of Recently Recovered Research, Department of Futile Linguistics, University of Jealleybeane, Hluhluwe, Republic of South Africa

Following on the preliminary preliminary studies of the late Dr. A. Pímpel (1938), on the increasing number of usages of Imaginary language, I henceforth wish to elaborate and make known to the esteemed world of linguistics this new field of study within the linguistic arena.
Language, as Spoken by Linguists

After losing the cursor on the display: “Oopsyou know why it’s called the cursor.”

For those uninformed readers who are inclined to think that imaginary and fictitious languages are one and the same thing, I am afraid you are very much mistaken. While one may be found in the books classed under the SFF-genre, the other one may be in use by anyone (even without any knowledge of Klingon). I will proceed to clarify the Imaginary Language through one of the examples in Dr. A. Pímpel’s book Preliminary Insights into Imaginary LanguageA Basic Introduction (1976):

The state of language, being either imaginary or non-imaginary, may exist together in the same sentence. Following this, it can be noted that while writing or saying “She is beautiful” leaves the sentence in neither imaginary nor non-imaginary state, whereas “I am beautiful” stated by the female subject, may be in one of three states (depending on time-space locality). State 1non-imaginary. She really is beautiful. State 2imaginary. She is not beautiful, though she believes she is. The third state which is even more difficult to pin down is the so-called “Aladdin’s Lamp State” also known as the “State of Wishful-Thinking” in which the person may think of herself as beautiful, she may become beautiful, but at the moment she is unfortunately not so. (1976: 356-357)

After reading this exemplary example, I did find that Dr. A Pímpel seems to have suffered from the old ‘sexism’; a disease only recently classified as “being undermining to present and future academic study” (A. Fhem & A. Nist, 2002). To reduce the sexism impact in this study, I will henceforth hold it to you that “She is beautiful” may just as well be “He is handsome”. In the case of the latter, I have also found that this Reversal of Example has even more of an impact as it seems that the “unnamed He more often thinks of himself as handsome than the unnamed She thinks of herself as beautiful” (Underground Studies in Feminism, VOL IIIXIV, 1645).

But I diverge. Imaginary language can thus be seen to penetrate even the most simple of sentences. Instances of the Aladdin’s Lamp State and Imaginary language are being found even in books given to children barely able to read. I give Horseman’s claims that:

... it came to light that I found that the dog “Spot” did not, in fact, belong to “Dick”, but was given to “Jane” as a puppy... (Article: “Dick and Jane : Lies! Lies! Lies!”, The Sedgewick Mid-Afternoon Times)

Language, as Spoken by Linguists

Showing diagrams: “Author X, in 2005, also showed this and used(to Author X, in the audience) what did you use?”
Then we come to the matter of a glass and the liquid inside it. Is it half-full? Is it half-empty? These are questions that may dumbfound the most brilliant minds of our day and age. The other, lesser known name in Preliminary Imaginary Language Studies (PILS), Prof C.O. Dean, states in his essay on the subject, Of Glasses and LiquidsA Linguistic Study, that: “The glass can neither be half-full, nor half-empty. It is either full or empty. There are no half-measures in language. The statement is either imaginary (half-full/half-empty) or non-imaginary (full/empty)” (1955). Therefore, this question was answered from 1955 until 1976, when Dr. Pímpel discovered the Aladdin’s Lamp State, which means that the glass can, in fact, be either half-full or half-empty. But the fact remains that only a glass that is either full or empty is non-imaginary.*

In conclusion, we can see that the Imaginary language found in all language by Dr. A Pímpel, has wormed its way into all spheres of life and language. I will now continue my studies on Imaginary language in my bid to find a language in which only non-imaginary language exists.

* Which means that a half-full or half-empty glass is imaginary and that is why a glass of any drink which is not full, contains no calories, alcohol, etc.


Dean, C.O., P.A. Raceta, & Mol, et al. Of Glasses and LiquidsA Linguistic Study. Vol 325 no 1(4). 1955. Lesser Linguistic Studies. University of Hluhluwe, Hluhluwe.

Fhem, A., & A. Nist. Underground Studies in Feminism. Vol IIIXIV. 1645. Ye Olde Printing House, England.

Horseman, H. “Dick and Jane: Lies! Lies! Lies!” 1 May 2008. The Sedgewick Mid-Afternoon Times.

Pímpel, A. Preliminary Insights into Imaginary LanguageAn Introduction. 1976. Curious Academic Books, Chesterfield.

Pímpel, A. Imaginary Language: Imaginary, or Not? Preliminary Preliminary Studies. 1938. Curious Academic Books, Chesterfield.

Even More Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira
A Menu for Linguists—The SpecGram Chefs
SpecGram Vol CLVII, No 3 Contents