Because of regrettably unavoidable space constraints in this, the present issue, I am unhappily unable to provide our loyal and devoted readers and subscribers with an astonishing, nay, staggering, revelation about the remarkable history of Speculative Grammarian—a revelation that has been over a millennium in the making, and ends with an unexpected Icelandic twist. Hopefully that tantalizing and titillating teaser will arouse your interest in and whet your appetites for a bit more of SpecGram’s famed history, so that you will all come running back to this space next issue, panting and drooling like good Pavlovian Linguists.

In the meantime, I feel obligated to warn you that the Panini vs. Psammeticus debate rages on in this month’s Letters to the Editor. That somber duty is balanced by the thrill I get in announcing that a fifty-year-old contest has finally closed (with a winner!). In other news, the pseudo-Nihonese puzzles continue to confound. And like any prosperous journal of its advanced but robust age, SpecGram is growing again. The submissions keep rolling in, and we’re expanding from 10-page issues to 12. That’s 20% more satirical content for you every month. You’d best appreciate it, too, or we’ll have to send out Guido—a particularly large and violent Junior Editorial Associate—to adjust your vowel space, if you get my drift.

But no one wants that to happen (except possibly Guido—he does love his work so). So read, read, read (and if the Muse of Satirical Linguistics takes you, write, write, write and submit, submit, submit)—and enjoy!

	Letters to the Editor
	SpecGram Vol CLVI, No 3 Contents