Introducing.. The SpecGram ⅔ Ellipsis™©

More than a Comma.. Less than a Semicolon!℠®

A recent report by a Dutch company that studies printers found that switching from a “bold” or “black” font to a “light” or “narrow” one could save up to 30% on the cost of ink used in printing.

That’s great! But why stop there? You can further reduce your elliptical printing and transmission costs by 33%! Here’s how!

The editors of Speculative Grammarian are pleased to introduce the SpecGram ⅔ Ellipsis™㊋:

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We use it all the time in our internal emails.. it pleasantly conveys the rambling, stream-of-consciousness, meandering-around-the-point nature of our senior editors’ most important.. yet pointlessly time-consuming.. debates about punctuation.. particularly commas.. and whether other punctuation goes inside or outside of quotes..

Now, it is important to remember that while you are saving money on elliptical printing and transmission in memos, email, and even hand-written letters, the SpecGram ⅔ Ellipsis™⎊ is not free. We spent a lot of money to make sure it was copyrighted ©, registered ®, firemarked ㊋, and downwardly triangled ⎊. Now it’s your turn to cough up some money of your own.

You can get a per-use license for only 25¢. A personal unlimited-use license is only $25. A corporate unlimited-use license is only £25 per user. No euros (€) accepted.

[Disclaimer: Use of the SpecGram ⅔ Ellipsis™ has been linked—especially among editors with prescriptivist leanings—to bouts of apoplexy, fits of distemper, and convulsions of scatological logorrhea.]

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