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NEW CONFERENCE PROCEEDINGS
Prepositional Propositions: About, Of, On, Under, and In
Proceedings of CRAPAR 118-128, 2007
Published 2008. Softcover, 6288 pages. Price: $12.95
Reviewed by Prepp O’Zishun
This collection of articles presented at the One Hundred and Eighteenth through One Hundred and Twenty-Eighth Colloquia of the Concerned Researchers’ Association for Prepositional Analysis in Romance (all held in 2007) is very long. It is very big. It is also very boring. At first I thought there was nothing to recommend it.
Then I realized that there is a series of papers that make interesting reference to each other in their titles. I tried reading the papers themselves to see if they actually discuss each other’s content, but I kept falling asleep. My neurologist says that attempting to read these papers straight through may cause brain damage that could result in permanent narcolepsy.
The first paper in the series, by Thunderwolff, was innocuous-seeming enough:
“On under in Romance” by Abraham Thunderwolff, CRAPAR 118, 2007.
Then Bonds responded, in a somewhat testy manner:
“Of ‘On under in Romance’ and Other Misguided Analyses” by Fozzitt Bonds, CRAPAR 119, 2007.
At this point, Thunderwolff seems to have lost professional distance from the discussion:
“About ‘Of “On under in Romance” and Other Misguided Analyses’ and Other Writings by Poor Linguists” by Abraham Thunderwolff, CRAPAR 120, 2007.
Bonds seems to try to bring some reason to the discussion:
“Concerning ‘About “Of ‘On under in Romance’ and Other Misguided Analyses” and Other Writings by Poor Linguists’ and Other Ad Hominem Attacks” by Fozzitt Bonds, CRAPAR 121, 2007.
Apparently Bonds failed, since Sulloko seemed to feel the need to stage an academic intervention:
“From ‘Concerning “About ‘Of “On under in Romance” and Other Misguided Analyses’ and Other Writings by Poor Linguists” and Other Ad Hominem Attacks’ to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field” by Sokollu M. Sulloko, CRAPAR 122, 2007.
I don’t think Thunderwolff took too kindly to the intrusion:
“Away With ‘From “Concerning ‘About “Of ‘On under in Romance’ and Other Misguided Analyses” and Other Writings by Poor Linguists’ and Other Ad Hominem Attacks” to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field’ and Other Sniveling Academic Appeasements” by Abraham Thunderwolff, CRAPAR 123, 2007.
Bonds responded once again, but I think it was more as a goad than as anything productive:
“Again With ‘Away With “From ‘Concerning “About ‘Of “On under in Romance” and Other Misguided Analyses’ and Other Writings by Poor Linguists” and Other Ad Hominem Attacks’ to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field” and Other Sniveling Academic Appeasements’ and More Ad Hominem Attacks” by Fozzitt Bonds, CRAPAR 124, 2007.
Tackular seems to have captured the feeling of the entire Association, which must surely have been growing weary of the whole affair by CRAPAR 125:
“Enough of ‘Again With “Away With ‘From “Concerning ‘About “Of ‘On under in Romance’ and Other Misguided Analyses” and Other Writings by Poor Linguists’ and Other Ad Hominem Attacks” to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field’ and Other Sniveling Academic Appeasements” and More Ad Hominem Attacks’ and Fighting It Out In Print” by Spank Tackular, CRAPAR 125, 2007.
Thunderwolff must have lost all reason by CRAPAR 126. At first I couldn’t imagine why the Association allowed him to present this one:
“Tired of ‘Enough of “Again With ‘Away With “From ‘Concerning “About ‘Of “On under in Romance” and Other Misguided Analyses’ and Other Writings by Poor Linguists” and Other Ad Hominem Attacks’ to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field” and Other Sniveling Academic Appeasements’ and More Ad Hominem Attacks” and Fighting It Out In Print’ and That Ilk? Join the Club” by Abraham Thunderwolff, CRAPAR 126, 2007.
King, who I eventually noticed is President of CRAPAR, seems to have finally had enough, all right:
“Stop ‘Tired of “Enough of ‘Again With “Away With ‘From “Concerning ‘About “Of ‘On under in Romance’ and Other Misguided Analyses” and Other Writings by Poor Linguists’ and Other Ad Hominem Attacks” to Reconciliation: a Roadmap for Peace in Our Field’ and Other Sniveling Academic Appeasements” and More Ad Hominem Attacks’ and Fighting It Out In Print” and That Ilk? Join the Club’ and All of That Crap!” by Solomon King, CRAPAR 127, 2007.
After reading the titles of the papers above and reflecting on their significance, I learned that Thunderwolff was a founding member of the Association, and had been President for almost forty years before being ousted by a coalition of King, Bonds, and Sulloko. That explains his general peevishness. He must have used up all his personal credit with the Association Printing Office to get this final salvo into print before leaving the Association at the end of 2007:
“Bite Me! (A Farewell Paper)” by Abraham Thunderwolff, CRAPAR 128, 2007.
Actually, now that I’ve pointed out all the vaguely juicy bits here and given the warning about narcolepsy, I can’t even recommend that you browse through this book. Whoops. Apologies to the publishers.
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