SpecGram—The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics

For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics—and now it is available in book form—both physical and electronic!

We wish we were kidding,¹ but no, seriously, we’ve published a large³ collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost.⁴

The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even some progress in getting a few members of the general public to realize that the term “linguist” is not defined as ‘someone who works at the UN doing simultaneous translation’. Speculative Grammarian is proud to have been a part of these changes.²^,³ And now, in our humble yet authoritative opinion, the time is ripe for the appearance of an anthology containing the most important linguistics articles to have appeared in SpecGram in the past twenty-five years. (Readers seeking articles from before 1988 should consult one of the previous volumes in this series, which have appeared at intervals ranging from twenty to one hundred years ever since SpecGram was first published).⁴ This anthology, it is hoped, will allow our readers to gain a deeper, wider, fatter understanding of linguistics as it evolved in the late 20^th and early 21^st centuries, without the trouble of having to take a graduate seminar in “Modern Linguistics” taught by a professor who’s so old that she thinks the Beach Boys are cute.⁵ Some of us took graduate seminars like that ourselves, and believe us, this book is better.

This book concentrates on those branches of linguistics which have always been considered central to the field: animal communication, third language acquisition, linguistic love poetry. That said, some of the most important recent advances have come in ancillary subdisciplines, such as phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, and historical linguistics. Therefore, you’ll also find complete chapters on those subjects, along with other major topics such as sociolinguistics, computational linguistics, typology, and fieldwork.

² An important part.

³ In fact, probably the most important part.

⁴ Previous volumes are no longer in print, and, unfortunately, not found in any major university libraries. The Folger Shakespeare Library used to have a copy of the 1592 edition, but it was eaten by rats.

⁵ Not were cute, are cute, right now, in the 21^st century.

As you can plainly see, there is plenty of the usual high SpecGram quality inside this volume. There is considerable quality outside the (physical) book as well. The spine features the finest faux Corinthian and/or Venusian “leather” “finish”, making it suitable for placement alongside your finest volumes of literature, linguistics, or philology.⁵ The cover features a potentially prizeworthy photo⁶ that gives an intimate inside look at the life of a SpecGram editor while making you realize that your own hoarding problem isn’t really that bad.

All this can be had for only $12.99 or less! Metric pricing in £ (G. €, Fr. €, Sp. €, It. €, Can. $ ) is available as well, and has been provided by the Metric Interns.

If you’d prefer an electronic copy for your favorite PDF-enabled e-reader, the book is also available for just $5.95—though we’ll let you pay more if you want to.

Reviews

Bibliographic Information

Once you’ve bought a copy for yourself and all your friends and come to love it more than life itself, here’s all the information you need to give to your favorite library to encourage them to buy six or eight copies, too:

“[S]ome sections are generally accessible, and the motley mischief is unified by the trademark SpecGram voice—if such a thing can be said to exist—which combines condescension with flattery and arch irony with sincere delight.”

—Stan Carey, Sentence First

“Finally! One thing in linguistics Len Talmy, Paul Postal, Noam Chomsky, and Joan Bresnan can agree on: At $12.99, The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics is a modest last minute Christmas gift that takes less effort to purchase than red sweaters with white fluffy trim, yay! Nerdy uncles around the world thank you! ... There are worse things you can do than spend $12.99 on pure linguistics fun.”

—Christopher Phipps, The Lousy Linguist

“[The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics] is essentially absurd and all-encompassing. ... There are many impressive diagrams and illustrations that really shed light on the more difficult topics (they also add to the aesthetically pleasing nature of the book). I do believe that his book is an overwhelming indulgence that should not be avoided.”

—Laura Payne, A Walk in the WoRds

“Shout it from the rooftops. Or just do like me and go stand on a street corner waving a Bible and scream it: ‘The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics is out!’ ... Seriously, this volume has not only a real place in the field, it also continues an important tradition [in the line of] Studies out in Left Field: Defamatory essays presented to James D. McCawley.”

—Joe Salmons, Mr. Verb

“As with much satire, the more you know about various linguistics theories, the more you appreciate the various ways of making fun of them... if you like the articles and cartoons on SpecGram in general, then this is a great collection of the best ones.”

—Gretchen McCulloch, All Things Linguistic

“Complete with a choose-your-own-career-in-linguistics adventure game (German-sign-language-shaped dice not included), this is the ultimate gift for the budding language student, the jaded academic or the holistic forensic linguist.”

—Sean Roberts, A Replicated Typo

“[The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics] will be a symbolic expression of your inner linguistic nerd.”

—Phaedra Royle, on Linguist List

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics

Reviews

Bibliographic Information

Errata⁹

Miscellanea

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics

Reviews

Bibliographic Information

Errata9

Miscellanea

Errata⁹