For decades descriptive linguists and professional prescriptivists--technical writers, editors, and English teachers--have been at war. As most linguists know all too

The Original English Movement seeks to resolve the conflict between descriptivists and prescriptivists by fully embracing the notion that English should not change--not now, not in the future, not even in the past.

well, the prescriptivists say that descriptivism is at best a weak philosophy of usage, and at worst an invitation to grammatical chaos. However, too many prescriptivists maintain what is, to descriptivists, an illogical position: language should not change--or at least not until all the opponents of a particular change are long dead.

All that is about to end!

Never again must we argue about whether singular they is an aberration or a useful and much-needed dialectal "innovation", legitimized by a centuries-long history.

Never again will we discuss the logic of the prohibition against splitting infinitives, asking whether "to go boldly" sounds stupid, or whether traditions in translating Biblical Greek and Latin should have any sway over modern usage.

Never again need we fear to ask who the bell tolls for, or for whom the bell tolls, or where prepositions really belong, or whether the case system of English is dead yet.

The Original English Movement seeks to resolve this conflict and end this struggle by fully embracing the notion that English should not change--not now, not in the future, not even in the past.

Our goal

Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum, þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon. Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum, monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah, egsode eorlas. Syððan ærest wearð  feasceaft funden, he þæs frofre gebad, weox under wolcnum, weorðmyndum þah, oðþæt him æghwylc þara ymbsittendra  ofer hronrade hyran scolde, gomban gyldan. Þæt wæs god cyning. Original English as used by the Anglo-Saxons a thousand years ago to tell the story of Beowulf

is to bring forth a new body, The Academy of The English Language, whose function is to preside over the correctness of the English Language in the Americas and the British Commonwealth. And by speaking of the English Language, we mean the real, Original English Language--that used by the Anglo-Saxons a thousand years ago to tell the story of Beowulf.

It is easy to join the The Original English Movement.

Informally, you can support The Original English Movement by writing to your representatives in Congress or in Parliament, and to your President or Prime Minister and telling them why they should support The Original English Movement. Tell your friends, your family, your colleagues, and everyone on every mailing list you know. You should also give everyone you discuss the matter with a copy of the poem, Beowulf, to illustrate the beauty and clarity of the language we so cherish and support.

More formally, you can send financial support to our World Headquarters and Main Mead Hall. For reasons of orthographic purity, we prefer to accept donations in Icelandic krona. You can also attend one of our frequent meetings, held on the first moonless night of the thirteenth lunar month of each decade, at Grendel's ex-brother-in-law's cave.

	Regular Isomorphisms of Categorization in the Apathetic Informant--Angus Æ. Balderdash, Esq.
	SpecGram Vol CXLIX, No 3 Contents