I Will Not Say: Do Not Weep; For Not All Tears Are An Evil—A Letter From the Surviving Editors SpecGram Vol CXCV, No 2 Contents Minute.DU Mystery.PL—The Case of Death in the Stacks—D. J. Lobos

Linguimericks
Book १०४

Beaver PV Irony
Phrasal verbs with animal stems
Abound in English lexis—
Like ‘beaver away at a conference’.

And the irony is
I noticed this
With my beaver away at a conference.
—B Verr


I can’t face it!
Word combos with face! Well, let’s chase ’em:
There’s face off and the A-Team’s ‘the Faceman’
About face and volte face
Examples amass
If we simply sit down and we face ’em.
—Face Man


Sonnet 18(v2)
Shall I compare thee to an allomorph?
Thou art more complex and in form more rich
Than any morpheme that one might attach
To free or to bound roots, which then puts forth
Its range of forms; for thy form’s of more worth
Than some phonologically-determined change—
Some poor array of morphs whose narrow range
Is a mere chuckle to thy round, wide mirth.
For thy eternal variability
Transcends all contexts of determination;
Thy forms spread out, ’cross earth and sky and sea
More-phemic than the tongues of every nation.
If allomorphs are pairs or fours or threes,
Then thou art all o’ morph: infinities!
—William Deakspeare


In Welsh you might say Bore da
As you’re climbing the slopes of Yr Wyddfa
But even this ling-wish
From somebody English
Might be going a little too far.
—Mr Snow (Dan)

Passive Limericks

If a limerick is to be written
The passive voice is rarely given
Pre-eminence. For
It’s complex, which means more
Than one can chew oft’n is off-bitten.
—Parsifal (Pars) Ivv


‘I love you so much,’ I said; she
Said ‘My love for you’s great,’ You’ll agree
After th’ active and nominal-
-isation, it’s the best of all:
The passive: ‘You are much loved by me.’
—Luvv Dupp


‘Don’t be passive!’ my boss ordered me;
I’d bit my tongue, wanting t’reply
That the word-string he chose to give
Was actually imperative;
‘Passive won’t be been by me’, said I.
—Fi R’De


(Im)pass(ive)
I made a pass at a young linguist
Whose impassive response was ‘You’re finished!
‘No pass shall be made;
Passive you should have stayed!’
True! My tenure has now been relinquished.
—Professor X Ex-professor


The passive reduces the valency;
Take a transitive verb and—how strange to see—
One argument off can fly!
Let me exemplify:
‘This poem’s been written (by me)’.
—D Mote, Sue B’Zheckt


My thesis has now been completed
On the passive voice. Note, I omitted
In line 1 the agent—
The verb’s monovalent:
An implicit denial that I cheated.
—Chee Tidd


Take the active: ‘Syntax I taught’;
Now the passive form (‘Syntax was taught’)
Is better; but best of all
Is the passive impersonal:
‘That syntax is great, it was taught.’
—The Teacher


‘We must end all wars!’ So they asked me,
‘Can you do it?’ I said, ‘That won’t tax me!’
Though they’d said, ‘We must pacify’;
I heard, ’We must passivise’,
Gave them ’Wars must be ended’. They sacked me.*
—Miss N De Standing

* And ironically, thwacked, bashed and whacked me.



What’s the difference between ‘I was cold’
And the similar string ‘I was told’?
It’s all down to be
In its polysemy
Plus the power that syntax can hold.
—Polly Szemmi and Stu K Churrell

I Will Not Say: Do Not Weep; For Not All Tears Are An Evil—A Letter From the Surviving Editors
MinuteDU MysteryPL—The Case of Death in the Stacks—D. J. Lobos
SpecGram Vol CXCV, No 2 Contents