In 2021, /nuz baɪts/ and other even less reliable news outlets reported on the ridiculous claim reasonably plausible theory that spicy food may have precipitated the Great Vowel Shift (SpecGram CLXXXIX.3). Since then, interns researchers in a dumpster out back at the X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies have scoured the internet our archives and tabloids academic journals for similar conspiracy theories well-
In addition to the Great Bowel Shift (mentioned in SpecGram in issues CLXXXV.4, CLXXXIX.4, and CXCII.4, and again below), we found several others, summarized briefly below.
A mass movement of nocturnal predatory birds, known as the Great Owl Shift (Strig I. Formes, 1970, Journal of Fowlkind, LXXV.3).
A change in Christian monastic fashion, known as the Great Cowl Shift (William of Ockham, 2000, Sacred Sartorial Studies, CLXXIX.1).
The momentous development of new bathroom textiles, known as the Great Towel Shift (Þwahaną L’Avabo, 2021, The W.C. Chronicle, LXXX.1).
English speakers collectively deciding to turn their frowns upside down in the Great Scowl Lift (G. L’Heir, 1998, Le Dossier de la Tristesse, CXXII.4).
The creation of social media moved creepy social misfits out from beneath the windows of private homes and into online forums in the Great Prowl Shift (Yhdyntä O’Fender, 2016, Aspects of Scopophilia, LII.7).
Wooden rods replaced awkward rope-
Covert prestige dialects among builders produced the Great Trowel Shift (Sam Spade, 1988, Annals of Architectural Assembly, CXVII.1).
Increased rates of profanity usage can be attributed to the Great Foul Shift (M. Effer, 1854, Maledictology Monthly, CXLI.4).
The aggression calls of predatory animals all changed frequency in the Great Growl Shift. (Snarli Gnarlsson, 1990, Low Frequency Weekly, CLX.8).
A similar phenomenon involving the calls of wolves is the Great Howl Shift (C. Lupus-
After a satisfyingly spicy meal, one might experience the Great Bowel Shift (N. Testin, 1948, Journal of Odoriferocity, XXXIII.2).
[keət] lovers produced the Northern Kitties Shift (Felix Catticus, 2003, Canadian Culture, CXII.3).
The last mass chicken migration led to the Great Fowl Shift (Cacas Pullum, 1941, Quantitative Poultry, XLV.5).
And covered much of the countryside in the Great Foul Shit (Cacas Pullum, 1941, Quantitative Poultry, XLV.6).
North Americans prefer fresh fruit to dried. Canadian raisins are [ɹɐɪt əʊt] (Vito Vinifera, 1889, Oenological Archeology, CLXII.3).
An unsung inventor in the American South created a combination thumbtack-