Hi there! I’m a linguistics graduate student at the University of the Northwest Corner of the Land of Enchantment, and documenting your language will be my thesis project!
I was supposed to fly down to Brazil this weekend and make the arduous journey to your little out-
At this point, you probably have a lot of questions. How dangerous is this coronavirus? What is a graduate student, and how did we get to be lucky enough to interact with one? Most of all, what do all the weird scribbles on this piece of paper mean? You should probably go somewhere to get an answer to that last question. (Note to self: Should I translate this letter into Brazilian Portuguese?2) According to internet maps, the nearest real town is a mere 43 miles3 away, approximately north-
You may also be wondering about the magic flying creature that delivered this package. It’s called a quadcopter drone, and, boy, it ain’t cheap to rent one of those in your part of the world!4 The package has a satellite smartphone, a charging cable, a US-to-
Let’s chat every Thursday, starting around 4:15 pm your time. Your phone comes pre-
1 They could care less about me.
2 Never mind; my friend Lisa says that just about everyone speaks English. Hey, maybe I can teach you some of the world’s language!
3 Lisa says that you may not be familiar with miles, which are used in the United States of America but, inexplicably, not in most of the rest of the world. One mile is equal to about 1.609 kilometers. Hope that helps!5
4 I really hope you didn’t destroy the drone. You should have seen what happened when Lisa tried to contract the Sentinelese. We did not get our deposit back on that one!
5 Also, the “3” is a footnote, not an exponent. Simple dimensional analysis shows that you don’t measure distance in cubic miles, duh!
|The Incipient Colonialism of IPA
|SpecGram Film and Media Club
|SpecGram Vol CLXXXVII, No 4 Contents|