Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius SpecGram Vol CLXXXV, No 4 Contents Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ԺԱ—Mary Shapiro

Seeking 0.6 FTE Professor of Articulatory
Phonetics/Articulated Lorry Driver

The West North-Western Academy des Arts and Sciences de la Langage seeks a Professor of Articulatory Phonetics/Articulated Lorry Driver across its two-campus site in the UK/France. With campuses outside Edinburgh, UK (location of Professorial role) and Nantes, France (location of articulated lorry driver role), the candidate should have own transport (preferably helicopter or similar). The role as advertised is 0.4 professorial/0.2 lorry driver with a strong preference for three consecutive days of work.

The ideal candidate will bring a solid grasp of articulation to both roles whilst being able to distinguish clearly between them. (The Academy takes as dim a view of reversing during a lecture on implosives as it does of producing laryngeals while uncoupling.) A consistent publication industry in 3-star journals of phonetics is required as is a knowledge of UK/EU transportation regulations. The articulated lorry driving aspect of the role involves shipping University purchased hardware (e.g. lecture equipment, Vice Chancellor’s pot plants/water bed) from the port of Marseille to Nantes. The professorial aspect involves making strange sounds at 19 year old undergrads.

The Employer views the two roles as tightly linked, rich in cross-fertilisational opportunities and articulatorially mutually defining (comments above on the ability to distinguish between them notwithstanding). As such, the selected candidate will:

  1. Give a once yearly lecture on theoretical, conceptual and empirical points of contact between articulatory phonetics and the design/driving/retail of articulated lorries

  2. Be able to articulate the phrase ‘articulated lorry’ clearly, preferable in more than 1 language/dialect/lect

With a planned campus expansion to Dubai, the successful candidate would, by mutual agreement, also become Professor of Art Journalism at the Dubai campus at or before September 2021. Training for this role will be provided. The postholder would then be in receipt of the title Professor of Articulatory Phonetics, Articulated Lorry Driving and Art Articles.

Good Enough for Folk EtymologyPart VIIA. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius
Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ԺԱMary Shapiro
SpecGram Vol CLXXXV, No 4 Contents