SpecGram Vol CLXXXIX, No 3 Contents Letters to the Editor

Transparent Transformational Transitions

A Letter from Transient Editor Kmikhar Akde

As regular subscribers to SpecGram are well aware, we like to retain as transparent a relationship with our readership as possible. To that end, we’re happy to announce publicly a 220% increase in the SpecGram marketing budget (which takes it to somewhere probably greater than £/$ 0.00exchange rate depending) ... and a whole host of exciting marketing initiatives that this investment implies.

First up, this means we can retain Billy “Big” Bobby who wanders around Leicester Square with our billboard that reads “The Next SpecGram Issue Is Nigh/Repent and Abandon All Hope”. This is great news for SpecGram as our marketing analysts are confident that at least some of the passers-by in Leicester Square didn’t scurry on past or do an about-turn and walk the other way, and that a subset of that cohort may have remembered the incident (if not the title “SpecGram”) for up to several minutes after the event. Great stuff!

However, even more exciting is that the budget increase allows us to finally take up that long-awaited (and much anticipated) offer of a stand at the South Cornwall Linguistics and Robotics Festival which runs every third Saturday in August between 1 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. (weather permitting and assuming the South Cornwall village hall isn’t being used by the gaming society). Although the focus of SCLRF is on the robotics bit (187 of the available 189 stalls were dedicated to Robotics in 2020), the two remaining stalls are superbly positioned on the cliff edge above the English Channel and can be easily located from the entrance, being at the furthest point from it. The rapidly-eroding cliffs also allow superb views for the stall attendees, so getting staffing should be no problem. Plus, the Comms subdivision is confident that the new slogan “We are 50% of the Linguistics Stalls at SCLRF (Weather Permitting)” is both catchy and relevant, and appeals to the core values of our central target demographics. Brilliant!

Finally, we’re in talks to buy out a major cinema chain thereby allowing us to advertise SpecGram to millions of cinema goers on a daily basis. Wonderful!

So, with these exciting developments in process, we can expect to see continued support from our advertisers, thus securing SpecGram’s future for generations of readers. Amazing!

Letters to the Editor
SpecGram Vol CLXXXIX, No 3 Contents