Do you ever get annoyed that the IPA has holes in it? Do you ever wish it was a bit more featural? Do you ever get lonely while writing phonetic transcriptions?
So did I, and that’s why I’ve created The Inter-
ILPS is
Stick figures facing left indicate voiceless consonants, while those facing right indicate voiced consonants. Direction of facing is either the side on which they hold their tool or the side toward which they are pointing both arms.
s, z, χ, v
Plosives wear top hats, trills wear halos, taps wear crowns, fricatives keep their heads uncovered, approximants have horns, and clicks wear pointy wizard hats.
p, ʙ, voiced uvular tap, ɣ, ɻ, ʘ
Nasal sounds have long beards, laterals are fat, ingressives wear boots, aspirates have ears, and ejectives have hair.
Bimanual sounds carry triangles, faciomanuals carry axes, bilabials carry swords, labiodentals carry clubs, interdentals carry torches, alveolars are unarmed, postalveolars carry balls, retroflex have canes, palatals have staffs, velars have megaphones, uvulars like balloons, pharyngeals deliver pizza, and glottals are archers.
Vowels are dead stick figures. Head to the left means unrounded and head to the right means rounded. Curled upwards means tense and flat means lax, if you believe in that sort of thing.
“tense” i and y for English speakers, plain i and y for sane people
Front vowels have been stabbed with a sword, back vowels have been shot with an arrow, and central vowels get both.
a, ɨ, ɯ
High vowels wear a top hat like plosives, near-
Glides are written as upright vowels.
j, w
Syllabic consonants are written as prone consonants.
ɹ̩, n̩
Syllable boundaries can be written as brick walls. Primary stress is indicated by putting a double wall on either side of a syllable.
ˌpoˈteˌto
Tone is marked with birds overhead. The first bird defines the midpoint, and the other birds define the contour. A single bird may be used to indicate any hatatory components of the utterance.
pōtétò
Chinook łtpčkt: 
Finnish riiuuyöaie: 
English floccinaucinihilipilification: Forthcoming4
The following charts should seem familiar, at least structurally:
The objectively superior phone is now clearly the nasalized palatal click, as can easily be seen:
voiced nasalized palatal click
There is also an online IPA-
1 It is perfectly comprehensible to me, which should make it intuitive to everyone, but some people are weird.2
2 By “some people” I mean nearly everyone I have ever met.
3 If you aren’t familiar with double-
4 The component stick figures rebelled.
ŋ, l, 