ASSASS Assembles Significant Razor Collection

by Ruthlessly Roving Reporter Miss Deakina Andrea Kirkhamia

As part of their long-running “Artifacts of Scholastic Significance and their Application in Scientific Study” (ASSASS), the Federal University of South Derwentshire, UK, has put together the world’s largest collection of Occam’s Razors since the Great Razor Symposium of 1972 in Montana. Museums and universities from around the world have donated some of the most scientifically significant razors in history. Of particular interest to linguists may be the Cavendish Occam’s Red Razor which Lord Burghley of Cheam used in 1756 to shave a key set of Sanskrit lexemes, thus paving the way for Sir William Jones’ discovery of the genetic relationship between it, Ancient Greek, Estuary English and Latin.

Exhibited for the first time to the public is the Gravelstone Series 72, Foamfree Purple Razor with adjustable epistemology which Franz Boas’ assistant Kevin Trickle brought with him by chance on the Pacific Northwest expedition from 1897. As Boas’ own journal relates, Trickle accidentally shaved together material culture, linguistics and anthropology, leading to the creation of linguistic anthropology.

We caught up with Professor Okeham R. Zor, Team Leader Emeritus of the ASSASS collection, and Dr Parceval Simon, creator of the ParceSimon-y Project, while they were trying to integrate their two roles into one. Professor Zor told us “Yeah, well, man, this gig is like, sooo cool. I’m fizzin’ that we’ve got these dope razors all chillin’ together in, like one place man, one place. That’s all you need, just one place. So everyone can see ‘em at once.” Dr Simon concurred somberly, adding “It’s now 34 years since the ASSASS collection of Occam’s Erasers disappeared under mysterious circumstances. So we’re delighted to bring Occam back to the public’s attention. Excitingly, we’re in the early stages of planning an exhibition of Occam’s Phasers, including the one used on the original Star Trek series.”

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