University News SpecGram Vol CLXXXII, No 4 Contents Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Sally Thomason Does Not Deny Having Interest in Michigan Football Coaching Job

SpecGram Wire Services

Despite official denials by Athletic Director Warde Manuel, the internet is buzzing with speculation as to when perennially unsuccessful University of Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh will get the boot. Speculative Grammarian has learned that linguist Sarah Grey (“Sally”) Thomason has not denied that she is interested in the position.

Known for her tough “contact” approach to her field, Thomason has been coaching student athletes in linguistics at Michigan since 1999. She appears to be a strong candidate to replace Harbaugh and return the Maize and Blue to gridiron glory.

After completing her academic coaching degree at Yale, Thomason took up a coaching position at the same Ivy League institution. Thereafter, she moved to the University of Pittsburgh, where blue-collar steel town values came to characterize her approach to the field.

Thomas moved to Michigan in 1999, arriving in time to overlap with the last good years under Lloyd Carr, and to witness firsthand the beginnings of the current era of futility vs. Appalachian, Ohio, and Michigan States.

Though she never worked under Bo Shembechler, Thomason fits the classic mold of the “Michigan Man”tough, devoted to a strong defense of any proposal, and unwilling to tolerate pseudo-arguments by the opposition, on the field or in the classroom.

Fans may expect to see an offense crafted around typological universals of football plays, with a healthy focus on contact. She is expected to rely heavily on her recruiting contacts in the Native American community, and to avoid anything that leads to player endangerment.

University News
Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson
SpecGram Vol CLXXXII, No 4 Contents