SyllaBerries

[While going through the Language Made Difficult archives, we discovered a series of advertisements from Captain Mills that never made it to air. Our lawyers know us well, so they threw in a clause that wouldn’t make us give the money back if we published the ad copy before our sponsor noticed. That’s quite fortunate, as we’ve already spent the money providing the LMD talent, who are smart enough to insert their own vowels, with Abjad-Bits from one of our sponsor’s competitors. The first ad is below. —Eds.]

Tongue-tied by endless consonants in your alphabetic cereal? Try new SyllaBerries, the breakfast of linguists! Made from dried syllabub, mixed berries, and whole-grain flakes in the shape of real glyphs, every spoonful is guaranteed to be pronounceable. Join the Mora Majority who’ve switched to SyllaBerries!

Warning: Swallow completely before attempting ingressive consonants.

	The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective
	Mix & Match ¶—Max & Mitch Ninelette
	SpecGram Vol CLXXXI, No 3 Contents