Save the Adverbs
Recently, the Broadly-Construed Commission for Dying Language Forms (BCCDLF) launched a campaign to save rare parts of English speech. Given their cuddly nature and the fact that they are mostly easily understood, adverbs were quickly chosen to publicly front the campaign.
Widely misclassified as commonly-spread in their natural environment, adverbs are usually threatened by the poorly understood but well-documented growth in the use of adjectives where an adverb is needed. Fast running out of use in English, where speedy communication is paramount, their emblematic (although not universal) -ly ending is becoming a rare-seen sight.
The BCCDLF has therefore called for universally adopted action to immediately halt their demise. Breeding programmes are to be launched in academic journals and the more well-respected newspapers, to clearly demonstrate how readily useful good adverbs can quickly become. Additionally, the organisation has started an awareness campaign to entertainingly illustrate their plight to the generally unaware public. Cartoons will be cunningly placed in metro stations, university cafés and public toilets to wittily take this message to all echelons of society no matter how poorly- or well-educated.
Time adverbials will not be included as they don’t count. Obviously.