Linguistic Term Definitions for Dummies
by Dummies
Are you confused by linguistic jargon? Does discussing “aspect” make you feel tense, ruining your mood? Are you too embarrassed to ask for help? No worries! We’ve got you covered with this handy glossary of linguistic term definitions for dummies. Use this glossary and your friends and colleagues will discover just how much you know about linguistics in no time!
Applied Linguistics—the study of the language of dishonest smartphone software
Aspect—describes an action that was performed by a donkey which believed itself to be a chicken
Asterisk—your “body part put on the line” when you second-guess your professor’s grammaticality judgements
Case—a box in which a verb can store the nouns it owns
Comparative Linguistics—the study of the language used by masters of ceremonies
Computational Linguistics—the study of language used to get free stuff
Corpus—a shocked cat
Dictionary—Richard avoids everything
Discourse—not d’other course
Field notes—music on a farm
Functionalism—An ism that actually works
Generative Grammar—elderly relative who amazes everyone by continuing to give birth to children
Glosses—Spoctacles worn by linguists
Grammar—married to grandpa
Grammaticalization—the process of causing someone to giggle like your female grandparent
Historical Linguistics—the study of the language used by men telling tales; see also Herstorical Linguistics, Mystorical Linguistics, and Yourstorical Linguistics
Informant—to give information to a small, remarkably strong insect
Interlinear Text—what you perceive when you read between the lines
Language Contact—One of those entries in your mobile phone directory that you can’t remember why you put it there
Lexicon—producer of untruthful etymologies or definitions
Linguist—someone who doesn’t need this glossary
Linguistics—long straight pieces of dried pasta
Morphology—the study of animated plasticine
Parsing—Causing things to become turnip-like
Phonetics—a portable device that makes calls and kills bugs
Phonology—the study of Apple’s product line
Phonotactics—refusing to call your mother-in-law until the game is over
Pragmatics—the study of denizens of the Czech capital
R—statistical package favored by pirates
Semantics—an unknown male has just swallowed a clock
Semiotics—removing small insects from the sewn areas of garments
Sociolinguistics—The study of speech of sailors darning their socks (sew, sea—see? Oh, forget it!)
Sound Change—putting a nappy on one’s phonology and cleaning up the mess
Syntax—amount paid to right a wrong
Thesis—opposite of “those is”
Translation Studies—research on why the railed public transportation never arrives on time
Typology—the study of pre-internet email-writing machines
Undecidability—the state of reading the menu for the Chinese restaurant and being unsure whether to have the Sweet and Sour or the Kung Pao
Universal Grammar—language spoken by Mitochondrial Eve
X-bar—drinking joint with treasure buried under the floor, possibly used by pirate linguists
