From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda IX—The SpecGram Archive Elves™ SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 4 Contents Hella Hellacious Diversions—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

Linguistic Term Definitions for Dummies

by Dummies

Are you confused by linguistic jargon? Does discussing “aspect” make you feel tense, ruining your mood? Are you too embarrassed to ask for help? No worries! We’ve got you covered with this handy glossary of linguistic term definitions for dummies. Use this glossary and your friends and colleagues will discover just how much you know about linguistics in no time!

Applied Linguisticsthe study of the language of dishonest smartphone software

Aspectdescribes an action that was performed by a donkey which believed itself to be a chicken

Asteriskyour “body part put on the line” when you second-guess your professor’s grammaticality judgements

Casea box in which a verb can store the nouns it owns

Comparative Linguisticsthe study of the language used by masters of ceremonies

Computational Linguisticsthe study of language used to get free stuff

Corpusa shocked cat

DictionaryRichard avoids everything

Discoursenot d’other course

Field notesmusic on a farm

FunctionalismAn ism that actually works

Generative Grammarelderly relative who amazes everyone by continuing to give birth to children

GlossesSpoctacles worn by linguists

Grammarmarried to grandpa

Grammaticalizationthe process of causing someone to giggle like your female grandparent

Historical Linguisticsthe study of the language used by men telling tales; see also Herstorical Linguistics, Mystorical Linguistics, and Yourstorical Linguistics

Informantto give information to a small, remarkably strong insect

Interlinear Textwhat you perceive when you read between the lines

Language ContactOne of those entries in your mobile phone directory that you can’t remember why you put it there

Lexiconproducer of untruthful etymologies or definitions

Linguistsomeone who doesn’t need this glossary

Linguisticslong straight pieces of dried pasta

Morphologythe study of animated plasticine

ParsingCausing things to become turnip-like

Phoneticsa portable device that makes calls and kills bugs

Phonologythe study of Apple’s product line

Phonotacticsrefusing to call your mother-in-law until the game is over

Pragmaticsthe study of denizens of the Czech capital

Rstatistical package favored by pirates

Semanticsan unknown male has just swallowed a clock

Semioticsremoving small insects from the sewn areas of garments

SociolinguisticsThe study of speech of sailors darning their socks (sew, seasee? Oh, forget it!)

Sound Changeputting a nappy on one’s phonology and cleaning up the mess

Syntaxamount paid to right a wrong

Thesisopposite of “those is”

Translation Studiesresearch on why the railed public transportation never arrives on time

Typologythe study of pre-internet email-writing machines

Undecidabilitythe state of reading the menu for the Chinese restaurant and being unsure whether to have the Sweet and Sour or the Kung Pao

Universal Grammarlanguage spoken by Mitochondrial Eve

X-bardrinking joint with treasure buried under the floor, possibly used by pirate linguists

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IX—The SpecGram Archive Elves™
Hella Hellacious Diversions—Artemus Zebulon Pratt
SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 4 Contents