The Language Police—Anita G. Gorman SpecGram Vol CLXXIX, No 2 Contents L’Ishing du Gwujlang X—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Long-Term Care Facility for Decom­missioned Mad Social Scientists

Has your linguist, anthropologist, or historian gotten to be too much for you to handle at home? We at the ΓΧ Facility understand your mad social scientist’s needs and desires. They just want someone to appreciate that their theories are just so perfect, and that if the data doesn’t fit, the world must be changed to make it fit. We know. We understand. And we can help. Our highly trained staff will implement as many of your mad social scientist’s desired real-world changes as is feasible, including syntactic and phonological changes to speech or changes in dress or everyday social rituals. We even have our own radio and television studio where we can create custom-tailored news programs that report the world the way your mad social scientist expects it to be.

Disclaimer, the First: The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Long-Term Care Facility for Decommissioned Mad Social Scientists cannot accept residents who require center-embedding, epaulets, or conspiracy theories more than two levels deep.

Disclaimer, the Second: The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Long-Term Care Home for Decommissioned Mad Social Scientists is in no way attempting to concentrate the most senior, most experienced, most effective mad social scientists in the world all in one place in order to launch the most audacious, most sweeping, most devastating mad social science plan in the history of the world, though we will admit that this disclaimer is oddly specific. Don’t worry. It’s okay. You can trust us.

The Language PoliceAnita G. Gorman
L’Ishing du Gwujlang XLusrveerDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf
SpecGram Vol CLXXIX, No 2 Contents